I'm so proud of my scorlling marquee but it seems that I searched for it without having to search at all. It turns out that Mary had the html format thingie and all I had to do was ask. I went from thinking I was the most enterprising and enginuitive person, to the dumbest in about 3.3 seconds. That's faster than the concord. Anyway, I'm still excited. It makes my blog look dynamic or interesting. It makes you think, "Oh, what's it going to say next!" and then people stand and cheer me. I feel interesting.
Well, I have to go now. somehow I left my checkcard at some ATM and I had to cancel it. Good thing is that no one used it. So far, I'm in the clear. Amanda, you out there? I need your online journal address so I can re-enter it as a LINK. Keep in touch sweetie and can't wait to see you at UST.

Well, it seems that I hate Mexicans. Imagine that! I was talking to a friend and it turns out that they think I hate Mexicans. How does that work? I'm Mexican American! Anyway, supposedly they're more Mexican than I am. I may tell bad Mexican jokes and jokedly subscribe to the Mexican stereotype, but HELL, I fit the stereo type. I degrade Mexican Americans because of my jokes, she says. Well, we all know that the stereo type is wrong. I've broken that mold by graduating and many other Mexican Americans have done the same, time and time again. The reason I don't like to speak Spanish is because I hate letting people know that I can't speak it correctly. I try. I do my best. Anyway, I've always heard that the Pri created those stereotypes that this person seems to hate. Funny thing is is that her family supported the Pri. I hope she was joking. There's a lot about Mexican history I don't know. What I do know are the stories that my family passed on to me. What do you think? There's things I can hide and being Mexican American is not one of those thing I WANT to hide. I don't know. This person threw me for a loop. Caught me off guard. Do I seem that type?

I start at the circulation desk today. I'm actually a little apprehensive about it. Will I do good? Will I meet expectations? Anyway, these things have been on my mind. I've been working at the reference desk for two years, going on three and I should atleast know some of the circualation stuff. I just hope I don't let anyone down or prove to people that I actually have absolutely no idea what I'm doing. Wish me luck, I start in about half an hour.

This weekend was eventful. I babysat, Soleil. That little girl is getting big but the fun part is that she is starting to make noises. You know, the kind that signals a child wanting to talk. Before, all she did was cry and smile. Now, she holds conversations that only she can understand. She even has some hand, leg and eye corrdination going on. The way she kicks, I think she's going to play soccer and the way she bangs on a coffee table, I think she's going to be a drummer. Next thing you know, she's going to be graduating from high school or something.

Oh NO!!! The wind, the rain, the humanity!!!!!! Tropical Storm Ivan is washing everything away, AAAaaaghh!!!!

Sh*t! I was hoping for a little more "song and dance" from that damn storm. That's all they talked about yesterday around the water cooler (technically, we don't have a water cooler but it's the imagery that counts). Everyone was so scared around here that we even had to shut down all the computers just in case it was too stormy to come in. I woke up this morning and saw the clouds in the sky and I ACTUALLY FEARED. Imagine my displeasing disappointment when I could actually drive to work. Well, I guess those who do like to work were happy. I was hoping to stay in and watch some movies and listen to the pitter-patter of soft rain drops on the window sills.
Again I say, "To hell with Ivan". What's up with that. He paid more attention to Alabama and Louisiana. I just for once wanted to be told that we had to leave our state for fear that we may drown or get blown away with the gusts of wind. As in the words of our favorite cartoon character, "Doooee!!!!"

Post Script:> Lancelot is a bastard! He's also a home wrecker! I'm tired of reading about his exploits. He can burn for all I care. I spit on you, Lancelot of the Lake. Puttueeee!!!!!

It's about that time again...Depression city, next stop...You don't have to read further, I was just venting...
Have you noticed that when I have nothing to say, it seems I have a lot to say? Maybe it's just me. Anyway, i actually don't have much to say now. I'm just in the library contemplating thoughts and wondering if I'm doing the right thing. You see, I have to make a decision. Actually, I have to make two decisions, both about the same concept but towards different entities. The answer I keep coming back to is the same for both, complete separation. Don't even think about it and avoid it. Is that the correct strategy? One, is from my past; distant past that I wish would remain their for all eternity. The other is a more recent perdicament. They remind me so much of each other that I can't help but want to yell! I now the trouble that leads to, but alas, everyone is different in their own right. I'm still the "Middle Man"; the "Second Thought"...
I'm too realistic and I know signs when I see them. Don't tell me one thing and try to cover it up by giving me a contradictory statement. Only I can do that! I've learned to move on and not be hurt. HELL, I'm twenty-(muffled noise) years old! I know things that you may not have comprehended before! The thing about it is that I'll miss certain things. Avoidance is easier when you don't have to do it.
The other issue seems that it will continue to haunt me for the rest of my life. I loved the fact that when I looked at my past, it was gone and I had made up for it time and time again. Maybe it'll never be over. Retribution is an endless game. Will it ever end?

So, I think I came up with a new theory regarding Maroon 5's song, "She Will Be Loved".
If you've seen the video and were confused by the imagery and the lyrics, then I'm among yoy, but what I contemplate is is that the "mother" figure in the video is actually coming to terms with her past youth. For instance, the young girl and the young man are actually her and the husband figure. It's just the she feels young and the man feels comfortable with his age. She sees his youth and wishes that it could return to the way it was, full of passion and love. She misses the excitement of youth. I guess you can think that the song is from the point-of-view of Father Time. Whose "door do you knock on"? Anyway, the song used to mean something different to me. I guess in looking at it from this point-of-view, it means something totally different. Thank you.

So, I'm in Faces of Totalitarianism. Russ is taking role. Russ is taking role and he is enjoying it! Can you say 5th grade issues. Anyway, he's the teachers pet. Wow, I feel like I'm a journalist in the middle of a story. All I have to do is sit here and watch the class play out and write it down right here. "Dr. Russia" is, you guessed it, in Russia at the moment. That's the reason for Russ taking ROLE like a good little TA. I forget, is this a Masters class or an elementary class? I'm upset because when I said that I could have stayed at home, he told me that he was going to take role for "Dr. Russia". Come on! I meant mine as a joke and he jumped down my throat. Anyway, I'm just upset because he's wielding powers I wish I had. NOT!!! I'm ok now. Don't worry, I'm fine.
I guess I'll get back to watching the movie. Oh, wait, Russ still hasn't gotten the damn VCR to work! Aaaaaghh... Calgon, take me away...

So it seems that I may be working for Circulation. "Boss Lady" has to speak with "Head Honcho". To think back, I think I'll only be working about 2 hours a week. Doooee!!!

Lisa M. is talking to me while I write. She speaks better spanish than I do. Between Lisa and Em-J, I feel like the worst Mexican ever.

I still love this wireless connection thingie. I'm sitting here in front of Anderson (or is it Cullen)? Anyway, it's still cool! I have Faces of Totalitarianism in about an hour. I'm scared. Mary, Candy and Matt have just dropped off a German Chocolate Cake. COOOOLLLL!!!! I'm going now so I can eat my cake.

Well! I had the strangest email sent to me earlier. It was from a person from many years ago. Well, this person was just the "messenger". "Messenger" said that "so-n-so" wanted to get in touch with me A-Sap. I freaked! I thought someone was dieing. Or worse, I was someone's father...hehehe. Anyway, it turned out that all "so-n-so" wanted to do was talk. "So-n-so" didn't know that I had graduated and "so-n-so" was happily surprised. Something about catching up. The pathetic part is is that all this time "so-n-so" had all my 411 (Phone & email). Old days! Man, sometimes you have to hate old days!

I have a theory of the soul. I think I may have mentioned this one before. I just thought you might like to hear it. Well, think of the soul as a receptacle. All the soul does is learn. At birth, it's as empty as a newborns bottle. (hehehe--> Like my metaphor?)
*Note: Remember, we are not put on this earth to die, but to live. What do you do with life every day, you learn and adapt.
So, that's what the soul does. All the years of your life center around this one concept, to learn, and when it's your time to say hi to relatives long since gone, your soul is sent into the heavens (or wherever) so it can rejoin the rest of the souls (to dance and play harps or whatever). Now, here's where it gets really Platonic. Plato has the forms and the concept of recollection, well, same thing pertains here. No one officially expires. Just like mans centripetal concept is to learn, ergo, the souls destination's concept is to learn as well. All these souls are splishy-sploshying around in their "dimension" and they're mixing up and combining, BUT like qualities combine with like qualities. Some of the lesser "aspects" of the soul get "lost in translation".
*Note: I divide soul into 1. Qualities, 2. Aspects. Qualities are dominant and Aspects are submissive.
Now, the souls are only halfway finished with their journey. They still have to return or leave their dimension. Some of you may be thinking how do material and immaterial thingies get together. Well, it's kind of like Star Trek. Star Trek, you ask? "What do you mean, crazy fat man?" Well, if you give me time I'll answer you.
When the Enterprise goes into Warp speed, it goes faster than the speed of light. It's no longer part of "our" space/time, but faster. In our reality, it's not material. It's other than material. For them, and for us (television watchers) they are physically walking around because if they weren't, it would make a terrible television series. Anyway, off track, lets get back on the train...
So, think of the souls as traveling between dimensions in the same fashion. They go up and they come back down, (now you have to remember that the whole time/space thing applies here. A completely NEW soul doesn't return at the same time. Think of the whole process as a showering affect. Qualities and Aspects are always showering down on us, which explains our mood swings. As we learn, we have new Q&A's combining with those that are similar to it within us. It's those aspects that tend to confuse the sh*t out of us. It's a kind of dispersment of sorts.

Well, thank you for watching, "A Day In The Life Of A Bored Reference Assistant". Tune in next time for another captivating episode. Does Johnny escape the well, Does Maggie fly the coop, or does Greg finally tell his parents he's not GAY??? (Ton-Ton-Ton!) More exciting stories on "A Day In The Life Of A Bored Reference Assistant".
Brought to you by -Soap on a Rope-, the makers of the Anal Probe...

Guess what?! I'm writing this blog from the most unlikely place ever. You see, I always thought that this laptop was never again going to see the light of internet, but thanks to Matt and every other intelligent person out there, I got a PCICIA card (wireless card) and Lord And Behold, tada!!!

I installed my McAfee virus scan but my trial download ended a long time ago, so I'll have to subscribe to it in order to get the up-to-date viruses. Anyway, just thought you'd like to know that I'm moving on up. I had to go to I.T. in order for them to help me with the whole process. They told me that it was time for a change. Hey, I like my slow as laptop. They made fun of me. I guess some day, but until then, wooooo-whhooooo!, I have wireless...

We all know that the new president of the university is a retired major general. I think that's what two stars means. Anyway, I walked passed him and another man and besides feeling the twinge of walking upright and offering a salute, I also noticed that he picked a cigarette butt from the walk way. I thought it was funny, at first, but then it struck me. We are going to see a lot of that as we go on. You see, when soldiers are on base, they are supposed to clean up EVERYTHING. That means they have to "police" the grounds. They have to pick everything up that is not growing. Another thing you'll probably see is that he'll never walk on grass or those paths that students have created on the side of the library building. Another "base" thing. He'll walk AROUND grass, even if his ETA will be shorter if he would just walk down that little path, he'll not do it. Well, here's to a change in command. Hoorah!!!

So I came to a conclusion.
Well, we all know how I'm a non-practicing Roman Catholic. Well, my mom and I attended a wedding on Saturday and aside from not wanting my wedding there, I also realized why I'm a non-practicing Roman Catholic. My mom and dad were not married by the church, so the church tends to view her situation as a "sin", hence, she can't take the Eucharist. Now remember, my mom has been a devote Catholic. I have the belt marks to prove it, and the communion-confirmation to boot! Anyway, I've told her to go up and partake of the "body and blood" of Christ but her being the devote Catholic woman she is, won't do it because the church told her it's wrong. There's one thing I agree with and that's that the church is run by men (men being the operative word). How can a "man" tell people that they know God's mind? I don't think Christ stopped anyone from going to the last supper and said, "You're not worthy, go next door!" Remember, even Judas was allowed to sit at the table even though Christ knew what Judas was about to do. I used to be proud to say that I was not only a Catholic but a Roman Catholic. Now, I prefer to say a non-practicing Roman Catholic.

That's not the only beef I have against the Catholic church. The thing that are going on now are just symptoms of a deeper disease! I'm sorry to say, but I feel that the church has become corrupt. It's time for an over haul. [*All except Pope John Paul II. He's the only cool cat!]
Anyway, I've realized that the church has been infested with hypocrites. They find an easy fix on going to confession and being cleansed of their disease only to return the next week to repeat their confession word for word. I've done wrong in my life, but at least I've realized that I'm flawed and that I'm human instead of hiding behind the purple vestments of "men" who say they can save our souls. I have a secret: God is the only one who can cleanse us of our wicked ways and even then, you don't need a denomination, you need to believe in a supreme power. You need to realize that there is something guiding our existence. People can deny God, but can people deny our purpose? Even if it's by scientific means, can you deny that our existence was peculiar? Protein ooze, monkeys or alien hybrids, can you stand there and say that our existence was not the strange combination of different circumstances? A chain of events that somehow created a conscious mind, or soul to the philosophers out there.

And it's not just the Catholic church. I heard that there's another church out there that will not let you worship in their church (building) unless you give money up front. "Money up front" before entering the building! Please tell me that I've heard wrong!?! Please tell me that I'm full of it and that I don't know what I'm talking about!?! Does anyone still read the bible!? Don't we remember what Christ did when he found mercantilism going on in his "fathers house"? It's alright to support your churches, but put a fixed price on people in order for them to worship. GOD IS NOT A BUILDING! GOD IS NOT A QUICK FIX! GOD IS NOT A THING TO ACQUIRE! God is that which should be strived for. You won't find him in poverty or riches. You'll find him where you do good for all. We are not a world of individuals, we are a single world of many.

What else can I say? I've just reached a fork in the road. Actually, not a fork in the road but a stand. Oh, by the way, the realization I came to during the wedding is that it's OK to go to church, but treat it as you would treat any other house. For instance, respect it as you would respect your friends or families house. The difference is is that the owner is "out of town on business" and the house sitters know you are welcome by their boss. Some of you know what I think about going to church. Thinking what I think, I feel like the biggest hypocrite there. Until Saturday, I felt that way. Not anymore. I guess it goes for all denominations. They may think differently, but I justify their beliefs as their belief in the same God, only on different terms. It doesn't make anyone wrong and anyone wrong. It's like Mexican families, like my family, tend to believe that they can pray to a certain Saint and they would pass the word along to God or that Jesus was a prophet along with Mohammad and that Allah is the true God. These distinctions came from a time when men needed to believe they were right. Must we follow in their footsteps? How dare we say that ours is the only right way and everyone else is going to burn in H-E-double hockey sticks! How much more controlling and demanding can we be?

Don't let others dictate your beliefs. There are morals and "social values" to follow. Moral's are the same for all: do no harm and do for others. Social values differentiate. You have to decide what will benefit the world and do them(do no harm and do for others). Social values come from bad preaching. Not religious, but it can be. But if someone tells you something that conflicts with your moral's(do no harm and do for others), turn away. Your beliefs are yours, and we should all understand them all, not just our own. Think consciously through all the ideas that different people have and you will find what you're missing. One day, you'll understand. I may not be pure of heart because of the journey I've taken to this point in my life, but at least I can say that I've become aware. Aware. Not everyone can say that. Plus, the world will look a lot more differently.

Well, last night I had Irish History. You know, I'm starting to gather that this class is going to be more difficult than I first anticipated. Anyway, you know the quizzes he gives, well, he's usually looking for a general answer, so I went into the class expecting a quiz regarding the general aspect of the assignment. Don't you know that the freak Irish History professor threw me a curve ball and asked for a specific thing, something that I skipped over and didn't read because it was too long! I freaked! I didn't know what to do! He'll be disappointed in me when he sees me next. I'm so ashamed:>(

I can't even go into a happier note. It's been so much reading this time around. I almost forget that I'm a "Masters" student (graduate student). As long as I don't look in a mirror, my friends make me feel like I was 21 all over again. That's really not a good thing because me at 21 is like a (blank) with (blank). I have something to put in those blanks but it's not appropriate. If you want to know, watch the movie "Glory".

Guess what's tomorrow? You're wrong! The correct answer would be: "Resident Evil: Apocolypse"... Be there or be DEAD!!! That's, LIVING DEAD!!! Mua-hahaha...

Matt and I are searching for things on Exorcism and the Middle Ages. Nothing seems to be working out. All my searches keep coming back blank. Anyway, how are things? I can't say that I'm stressing out because I'm not. That's actually scary for me because I should be stressing out. If I slack off, I will end up failing with a firey passion. Anyway, Matt is singing his own tone over at the next computer. Now he's reading through "suspicious characters" listings.
Blah, Blah, Blah.
Matt, you're annoying. Stop! Stop! Stop! SHUT UP!!!!!

We're talking about a professor who makes us do his research for him so he can keep his job. Dooe!! (That's my Homer impersonation) -->*The cartoon character, not the writer.
hehehehehehehehehehehehe

Lalalala, I'm bored. Bored, bored, bored,bored. Lalalala...
Matt keeps going Blah, Blah, Blah.
Bye

It's been a year since I started this thing that Andy suggested. I felt it only prudent to include Andy in the one year anniversary edition of my blog. Can you believe it?! One whole year!! It's been one of those years. I just realized that I can pretty much time my existence using this thing. Here's to one more.

Que-est que je va faire? hehehe ;>)
Au Revoir