Well, tomorrow's the day. I'm kind of scared because I've never been out of the country. Well, I have, but does La Frontera count? Anyway, Airport by 5pm and London by 9am. It sounds like I'm not going to get a good grade already. Too many things to see and expereince. School work? What school work?

Have a happy new year. Be safe and welcome to 2005!!!

My mom and I had an excursion today. Unplanned, mind you. We went downtown so she could get her senior discount card for metro and afterwards, we took a trip on the metrorail. We went all the way to the end of the line, in both directions. I bought the tickets. It's the least I could do. Anyway, it looks like they don't check tickets but she told me that Metro police come on the rail periodically and ask to see tickets. So, it's a good thing we bought them. Anyway, we went to see my "adopted sister" because she was in an accident as well. Hers was more brutal than mine. It was a head on and neither driver had insurance and/or licenses. So, they all luck out. Anyway, she's fine and mom feels better. We also went to the Barbacue Inn on Crosstimbers. It's a great little place but freaking intimidating. If you ever go, you'll understand why a little Mexican like me was intimidated. Great atmosphere though. Anyway, that was my day.

My battery's almost gone. Got just enough time to write in my blog and tell you that I'M GOING TO LONDON IN FOUR DAYS! I bought me one of those passport/id/money wallets that you can wear around your neck. Can you beleive that my mom wanted to buy me one of those belts that hide money. One of those "tourist/spy" gear. I had to draw the line. You know, put my foot down.

If it wasn't for mother dearest and my loving SIS aka Satan, I would not have all the "support" I have going over. My mom told me that if I was to get into trouble, call my sister because she said that Mari and David (hubbie) have set aside monetary funds for my eventual bail.

DLC IN EUROPE!!! Wuu-wuuw.

We'll have a busy time in London. Problem is that I will be separated from DLC for a short while while I attend "tea time" with Chaucer Professors wife AKA my MLA advisor. It'll be an interesting trip, to say the least.

IT'S SNOWING!!!
Can you beleive it?! For a south Texas Mexican American like me, it's the most wonderful thing I could ever get this Christmas (not counting the best friends I have). But one thing...No one ever told me that snow was going to be so coooooold. I had my first snow ball fight and my fingers went numb. In fact, they just stopped being numb about ten minutes ago and the snow ball fight was half an hour ago.

Before you call me a liar, you should know that the snow ball fight was from snow on our vehicles. we scrapped off snow from the windshield and flung it at each other.

Soleil looked beautiful. She was wearing a red dress and a santa hat. I've come to the conclusion that she is a tomboy because she hated the dress. She wore it because she had to, but every so often, I caught her scratching at it with an extremely uncomfortable look. She played with my pocket watch and my keys.

I still can't beleive that it's semi-snowing. OK, for those of you who have seen snow and stuff and say that this really doesn't constitute "snowing", again I refer to my regional nationalities. My people are from a tropical climate where the sun always shines and the earth moves (california). So, I WISH ALL A MERRY TIME OF JOLLY AND FOR THOSE I WON'T SEE TILL AFTER NEW YEARS, HAPPY NEW YEARS.

OK, my day has just gotten a bit more interesting. How the hell I pulled off a B+ in Arthurian Legend, I will never know. I think he had to curve the grades pretty well. It takes a skill to pass people like me. Also, I got an A in Faces of Totalitarianism. So, in all, it's the highest GPA I've ever had since I first started coming to UST. I can say that for a brief moment in time (Fall '04), I was almost as smart as all my friends, or I can be a pecimist and say that it was sheer luck that I got the grades I have. Either way, they are posted and my fate is sealed.

PS> I hate Matt's A. Thank you, the management.

I'm not wearing any socks. Maybe I'll catch namonia and die. That would solve so many of my issues right now. I've started a PRO/CON list and it's not looking all that good.

THanks Mary for your help. Matt wasn't any help. remember, deep down inside, he's still a guy.

It's my turn to be a grown-up...

Guess what I'm in possession of? No, not my wits. I have in my possession British Pounds and Euros. Yaa me! I think it was worth the three other banks I walked to downtown until I had finally given up, and was on my way out of the city and came across Chase bank. OK, look. I hate asking for help and I hate to know something that I want to find out on my own. I was downtown for one and a half hours trying to find out if any other banks had an international teller. Come to find out that I think I remember either Em-J or Ross mention Chase. But, alas, the walking in the cold rain and running so as not to get ticketed for an expired meter did me some good and I think I grew as a person. Anyway, I think the teller jipped me for 5 Euros. I'm not sure. I'll have to do some calculating because I AM a finance major and KNOW all there is about monetary functionings in the world. Anyway, there's my story for the day. Again, I LOVE PAYCHECKSSS.

PAY CHECKS ARE GREEAAAATTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm starting to think that I have a fitting title for my blog. I've noticed that I have nothing worth saying, but I have a lot of it to say. Anyway, I got back to Houston on Sunday for a graduation at Minute Maid park. It was pretty interesting. Those UHD people have a lot of tradition and ceremony. I like UST better.

I got about three hours of sleep last night because a cousin of mine needed me to drive his truck to the airport and back to my place. He'll be in Santo Domingo for two weeks. Unfortunately I'll not be able to pick him up because I'll be in France on the day he returns to Houston. I'm not that sorry for it. ARE WE READY FOR SOME GLOBE-TROTTING!!!! Sorry, I got a bit of that football/euro-trip bug in me right now. Anyway, everytime I feel I'm about to make it out alive, they pull me back in. Feel free to contribute to my educational foundation. It's titled, Jesus needs more than faith to survive.

Yesterday, Reference boss people took Em-J and I for a Bon Voyage lunch. We went to La Tapatia, at which I enjoyed a burrito de barbacoa. Mmmmmmm. Except for the ice that was still in the burrito when it first arrived.

So, I'm San Antonio. Left Houston at about 8:30am, 80 mph. Last night was an interesting night. The game was good. Came upon several revelations, of which I already knew all.

New Year resolutions:
1. Don't hurt Em-J's head with my car.
(extension on first resolution: new car)
2. No more mistakes.
(Umpossibble: YES I KNOW. It elaberates the fact that I need help.)
3. No more scary driving.
(Actually, it's an extension-extension to number one.)
4. Last, but not least, get sleep before I travel anywhere because I kept falling asleep before I got to San Antonio.

Hoc meus veritas est
You know, I sit here wanting that dare to be all moment where I'm the greatest above all. We all know that will never happen. Sometimes I sit here and wonder why I'm still here I'f every time I think about getting old, I freak. I'm almost thirty and I've done just about everything I'm going to do for the rest of my life. That's another thing I'm worried about. I don't want to be in Houston for the rest of my life. I don't want to amount to nothing. I don't want to be like the drones that pass their happiness up because they have to. I WANT A CHOICE!!! I'm scared that I'm nothing more than just ordinary and that all my dreams are nothing more than images I give myself just to make me feel better before I go to sleep, and will make me want to wake up the next freaking morning. Things that we tell children to make them feel better. I also don't want to be a synic. "I know that I don't know" is a catchie phrase but what does it really say about me. Does it mean that I can accept my flaws? Does it mean that I'm more intelligent for knowing that I don't know a lot about one thing? If that's the case, then what good am I? I want to go to Notre Dame but do I actually have what it takes to get in, and if I do, enough to remain? Jezzz, people are picking universities right now because they have many to choose from. I'm just looking for one that will accept me. I'm not humbling myself, I'm being realistic.
And at this point, reality is beating the crap out of me.

I actually thought that I was going to make at least an A- in Irish history, try to imagine the look in my face when I saw a B staring back at me. I would have had to make a fucking low grade on my final to fuck up that bad. It's my fault, I expected to much. I still have two classes left. If I did this bad in Irish History, I can only imagine how bad I did for Arthurian Legends. I probably screwed that up too. I'm disappointed with myself. I can't say I tried my best. I can't even say I tried. I can't even write a good story anymore. Damn me.
That is my truth

Well, it's been a while since I last read for the benefit of myself. I'm starting off with Clauswetiz. Matt said I should start with Chaucer, since the class is on him. I just want to enjoy something before I have to get back into reading for class. I have my ticket. I can't beleive I'm this close. Anyway, finals are finally over, only a few weeks for the trip and I'm as giddy as a school girl.

"Break not, O woman's - heart, lust still endure;
Break not, for thou art royal, but endure,
Remembering all the beauty of that star
Which shone so close beside thee that ye made
One light together, but has past and leaves
The crown a lonely splendor."

"May all love,
His love, unseen but felt, o'ershadow thee,
The love of all thy sons encompass thee,
The love of all thy daughters cherish thee,
The love of all thy people comfort thee,
Till God's love set thee at his side again!"
Alfred Lord Tennyson

OK, you may be wondering where the story went, well, if you go to the left of your screen, under "amanda's" name, you will find a link to STORy. Well, all this time, I wanted to blog but couldn't because I feared that some of you would not get to read it. i didn't realize that I could create another blog and spew that story there. Link away, ladies and gentlemen.

Anyway, finals are amost over. I'm glad. I finished Irish History and Faces of Totalitarianism (I wonder now if I've already said that). Now that I've fixed my problem, I have nothing to say. good thing sometimes. Now to study for Arthurian Legends.

Hey Look, It's December 7th, "A date which will live in infamy."
I'm tired.
I checked blackboard for my Faces of Totalitarianism final and I was right. It's one of those in depth things. I think I'm about to cry. Anyway, it's due on the same day that I have Arthurian Legends final so that means that I'll be up all weekend studying and writing. I think I'll quite school and be a bum and preach my "non-philosophy" philosophy from the back of milk trucks, IF they still had milk trucks. I don't think I deserved those grades from yesterday. I think Russia professor took pitty on me.

Positive thoughts, positive thoughts!!!!

Anyway, that's my life. Esteem issues with a side of self-denial and a heap of repression. Yeah me!
Oh, with an order of depression to go.

Hey, did you know that you can mail your jury summons notice? I didn't think so. Anyway, I had jury duty today and I was always going to use my "college student" status and get excempted, but I still felt that it was a waste of time to drive downtown and wait in line to give my piece of paper over to the clerk. As I get to the window, the woman tellls me, "Next time, just mail it in." I was stunned. It says no where on the peice of paper that I could have done that. I read that thing backwards and forwards. I made sure I read every word, and nothing. ANyway, if you ever get summoned, just remember, you can send it in. That's just when you get summoned downtown. I got summoned to a court house out in shepherd and I45 and I had to show up, sit with people that looked worse than me and wait. Anyway, that's my story.

I finished my Irish History final Monday morning at about 2AM. Anyway, I turned it in and stuff. I just got back two "A"s in Faces of Totalitarianism so I feel not so bad anymore. Final sounds like it's going to be a dozzie. ANyway, Arthurian Legends sounds like it's going to kick my a*s four ways from Sunday and twice on Monday.

To all with finals, GOOD LUCK and ROCK ON!!!!

As you can tell, Athurian Legends have gotten to me. Here's something thatI wrote called:

Ode to Knights

Cometh I from a time filled with valued youthfulness and strength.
A grey beard was rewarded virtue, esteemed by but a few.

All saught battle and quest whom found the world a wonderous challenge.
Which not all achieved, for this time be'eth not enlighted, but for where men made truth.

The sound of spur is a familiar sound.
As is also the lance in hand.
The shield in place, and the steed ready to bound into battle echoes in my ear.

For I see through weary eyes, colored by virtue.
I hear through sensative ears, ordained by blood.
I feel through the warm touch of maidenhood and soft lips.

Well, I finished my Arthurian Legend paper at about 5:30am. I don't know why but I feel like sh*t. I feel like my stomach is in knots and my fingers feel all rubbery. Anyway, I just sent it to the printer and now I have to revise it. I don't even want to know about Arthur anymore. My paper is bad. Probably the worst I've ever written. Anyway, if you see me today and it looks like I'm about to hurl, just step back slowly and make no sudden moves. I just might. You never know.

Appraiser guy called yesterday and set up a time to come by. Tomorrow he will be by the apartment between 2 and 5. Let's see what he has to say. Sorry guys, no physical and or mental anguish coming from me. Anyway, hope this is almost over.

Sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep...