Monday
you know what sucks? when you prepare for something so well that you miss something else in the same section. i found the syllabus for public opinion, and as i read, came across some bibliography that was due on the 24th of October. he wants 12 sources and to tell you the truth, i haven't even chosen a topic. acually, that's not accurate. i have, some what, chosen a topic. but not enough time to find sources. anyway, just wanted to let you know that, right now, God hates me and wishes me to fail public opinion in america. gotta go trick-or-treating. guess what class i'll be skipping? You are correct, sir! Public Opinion in America..... Talk about digging my own grave.
just here at home, listening to death cab for cutie.
i hate someone getting the upper-hand on me!
SHIT!
anyway!
(Sorry Mary, i've been using way too many curse words.)
anyway, again!
i don't know. i just rather not talk anymore. maybe i can move to some island where i won't have to speak or email or anything.
supposedly getting passionate in discussions is not a good thing because we "might learn something". or, i love this one, "usually both parties are well informed about the issue in question".
i'm so closed minded, aren't i?
sometimes i wish i could be more informed about the world around me. at times, i just don't care. it's just this issue is so easy if only people would stop and smell the roses. all they have to do is stop bitching and watch. if they only understood the reality behind it. one thing does not lead to the other. it can never lead to the other. i just think that people strangling this issue are people who can't see passed their own pride. i'm sad and beaten. i fear that i must give up because the brick wall is too thick. i can't break through, so i'm trapped in my prison.
i hate someone getting the upper-hand on me!
SHIT!
anyway!
(Sorry Mary, i've been using way too many curse words.)
anyway, again!
i don't know. i just rather not talk anymore. maybe i can move to some island where i won't have to speak or email or anything.
supposedly getting passionate in discussions is not a good thing because we "might learn something". or, i love this one, "usually both parties are well informed about the issue in question".
i'm so closed minded, aren't i?
sometimes i wish i could be more informed about the world around me. at times, i just don't care. it's just this issue is so easy if only people would stop and smell the roses. all they have to do is stop bitching and watch. if they only understood the reality behind it. one thing does not lead to the other. it can never lead to the other. i just think that people strangling this issue are people who can't see passed their own pride. i'm sad and beaten. i fear that i must give up because the brick wall is too thick. i can't break through, so i'm trapped in my prison.
it looks as if my t.v. was messing mom's t.v. when it came to the cable. i had been trying to figure out what it was. never actually tried disconnecting my t.v. from the line until today. had to call her and tell her. it had been nagging me for a long time.
went to ren. fest. this passed sunday. it was a blast. matt and andy, i have to apologize but i had a better time this time around. actually, it was different. this time around, holding hands made sense:)
it was our luck that we would arrive to see shows about 1 minute before it ended. so, i decided to buy a guide, only not to use it after that. everything was still expensive. food was great. didn't try a fried twinkie. all in all, it was a great time.
went to ren. fest. this passed sunday. it was a blast. matt and andy, i have to apologize but i had a better time this time around. actually, it was different. this time around, holding hands made sense:)
it was our luck that we would arrive to see shows about 1 minute before it ended. so, i decided to buy a guide, only not to use it after that. everything was still expensive. food was great. didn't try a fried twinkie. all in all, it was a great time.
Thursday
well, i applied to an fbi administration assistant position here in h-town and got word back that they didn't refer me to the highering person this time around, but that application was going to stay with them and i might be referred later on. i applied to several of these positions about 4 months ago. i had actually forgotten that i had done so until i got word back. anyway, i guess i have to wait for the nsa to send word that they don't want me either. well, here's to you, Joe DiMaggio.
PS -- getting back to this hypocrite thing i mentioned last time. anyway, i re-read the blasted email after getting sleep and stuff and he wasn't calling me a hypocrite, but instead was referring it to the object of his statment. jeez! i just needed sleep and stuff. i got it and now i had to apologize for the assumption. anyway, as forest gump would say, "that's all i have to say about that"!
PS -- getting back to this hypocrite thing i mentioned last time. anyway, i re-read the blasted email after getting sleep and stuff and he wasn't calling me a hypocrite, but instead was referring it to the object of his statment. jeez! i just needed sleep and stuff. i got it and now i had to apologize for the assumption. anyway, as forest gump would say, "that's all i have to say about that"!
Wednesday
Astros lost the freaking game. So much trouble getting them there just to watch the freaks loss it without actually getting in any games for themselves. 0-4.
That's umpossible!
That's umpossible!
i think my uncle called me a hypocrite. anyway, today wasn't the day for it. he said why call it propoganda and WASP-ish. i defined propoganda as trying to cause an emotion in people. i defined WASP as bible thumping, backwoods christians who find nothing better to do than criticize everything.
any of those definitions wrong? if so, please, set me straight. i don't mind. anyone left out there in the world?
anyway, i told him i didn't mind being called a hypocrite, but it chapped my ass that he assumed i was uneducated. i don't know, i'm tired, sleepy and not up for holding back. it's either my upbring or the coffee, but my hands were shaking. i was always told to obey and respect my elders. but you all know where i draw the line when it comes to respect; if you're an idiot, fuck off!
enough about me. how's all yous doing? hehehe.
any of those definitions wrong? if so, please, set me straight. i don't mind. anyone left out there in the world?
anyway, i told him i didn't mind being called a hypocrite, but it chapped my ass that he assumed i was uneducated. i don't know, i'm tired, sleepy and not up for holding back. it's either my upbring or the coffee, but my hands were shaking. i was always told to obey and respect my elders. but you all know where i draw the line when it comes to respect; if you're an idiot, fuck off!
enough about me. how's all yous doing? hehehe.
Tuesday
I CAN'T BELEIVE I HAD THIS FREAK PEGGED! ORLANDO HERNANDEZ, AS SOON AS HE GOT NERVOUS, HE'D GO FOR THE TWO BALLS AND THEN THE STRIKE OUT. JEEZ! I'M ALL KINDS OF PISSED OFF WATCHING THE BOTTOM OF THE NINTH. ENSBERG HAD IT, THE FREAK. BASES WERE LOUDED. IT WAS THERE FOR THE TAKING.
WOW, WHEN DID I GET INTO BASEBALL SO PASSIONATELY? ANYWAY, JUST VENTING!
WOW, WHEN DID I GET INTO BASEBALL SO PASSIONATELY? ANYWAY, JUST VENTING!
my uncle forwarded another email that chapped my hide. anyway, the author was speaking about the whole ten commandments issue and how, if that's possible, we should just do away with God completely. or something to that effect. either way, it sounded too much like "A Modest Proposal" by Jonathan Swift. I'm tired of these questions. I almost wrote back that, frankly, I think that it's not the aethist but the "bible-thumping christian sectists" who are taking the concept of separation of church and state to mean the denial of God from all life. I had to shorten it and clean it up and instead wrote that it sounded too much like WASP propoganda and was too Jonathan Swift like. People need to get over themselves.
I'LL SAY THIS ONE TIME AND ONE TIME ONLY!!!!!!!!
SEPARATION OF CHURCH AND STATE DOES NOT MEAN SEPARATION OF GOD FROM THE WORLD!!!!!
The concept comes from the monarchical rule that was a dominating factor in the past. The concept is there to protect the people. The government can never take our freedom of religion (1st Amendment) away without paying the ultimate price.
PRICE = REVOLUTION
And to tell you the truth, Americans are too narrow minded and uneducated to ever see the need to revolution because the government has blinded them to the need of such a thing.
So, stop bitching about ten phrases in the bible and worry about your own ass. Go to church. Go to strip clubs. Go to a McDonalds. Go to a Taco Cabana. Go anywhere and realize that you have the ability to go, worship and say just about anything without having men in black trench coats knock on your door and escorting you down to some dark basement for some re-education! And have enough common sense that if that ever does happen, stand up and don't lay down!
I'LL SAY THIS ONE TIME AND ONE TIME ONLY!!!!!!!!
SEPARATION OF CHURCH AND STATE DOES NOT MEAN SEPARATION OF GOD FROM THE WORLD!!!!!
The concept comes from the monarchical rule that was a dominating factor in the past. The concept is there to protect the people. The government can never take our freedom of religion (1st Amendment) away without paying the ultimate price.
PRICE = REVOLUTION
And to tell you the truth, Americans are too narrow minded and uneducated to ever see the need to revolution because the government has blinded them to the need of such a thing.
So, stop bitching about ten phrases in the bible and worry about your own ass. Go to church. Go to strip clubs. Go to a McDonalds. Go to a Taco Cabana. Go anywhere and realize that you have the ability to go, worship and say just about anything without having men in black trench coats knock on your door and escorting you down to some dark basement for some re-education! And have enough common sense that if that ever does happen, stand up and don't lay down!
so, i've tried reading earlier but found that i wasn't up for it. i was listening to Diana Krall and ran across this song and decided to add it for all to read. it's very insightful. i like to think it's how i live my life. that's a question for all of you. do i "fret", or do i "live love today, let come tomorrow what may"? anyway, jazz is a plus and if you enjoy jazz, this song is up your alley.
Devil May Care
Diana Krall
No cares for me
I'm happy as I can be
I've learned to love and to live
devil may care.
no cares or woes
whatever comes later goes
that's how i'll take and i'll give
devil may care
when the day is through
i suffer no regrets
i know that he who frets, losses the night
for only a fool,
thinks he can hold back the dawn.
he who is wise never tries to revise what's past and gone.
live love today, let come tomorrow what may,
don't even stop for a sigh,
it doesn't help if you cry,
that's how i'll live and i'll die.
Devil may care.
no cares for me,
i'm happy as I can be,
i've learned to love and to live,
devil may care
no cares or woes
whatever comes later goes
that's how i'll take and i'll give.
devil may care.
when the day is through
i suffer no regrets
i know that he who frets
losses the night
for only a fool,
thinks he can hold back the dawn.
he who is wise, never tries to revise what's past and gone
live love today, let come tomorrow what may
don't even stop for a sigh
it doesn't help if you cry
that's how i'll and ill die
devil may care
devi may care
shub-e-do
devil may care
devil may care.
Devil May Care
Diana Krall
No cares for me
I'm happy as I can be
I've learned to love and to live
devil may care.
no cares or woes
whatever comes later goes
that's how i'll take and i'll give
devil may care
when the day is through
i suffer no regrets
i know that he who frets, losses the night
for only a fool,
thinks he can hold back the dawn.
he who is wise never tries to revise what's past and gone.
live love today, let come tomorrow what may,
don't even stop for a sigh,
it doesn't help if you cry,
that's how i'll live and i'll die.
Devil may care.
no cares for me,
i'm happy as I can be,
i've learned to love and to live,
devil may care
no cares or woes
whatever comes later goes
that's how i'll take and i'll give.
devil may care.
when the day is through
i suffer no regrets
i know that he who frets
losses the night
for only a fool,
thinks he can hold back the dawn.
he who is wise, never tries to revise what's past and gone
live love today, let come tomorrow what may
don't even stop for a sigh
it doesn't help if you cry
that's how i'll and ill die
devil may care
devi may care
shub-e-do
devil may care
devil may care.
Monday
OH SHIT!!!!!
SHIT, SHIT, SHIT,SHIT,SHIT,SHIT,SIT,SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SHIT!
smart girl just brought up something about her midterm that i hadn't thought about before. i assumed wrong and didn't even think about outside sources. i just used the fucking book. fucking smart girl! what did i ever do to her!? i'm so freaking screwed. i didn't even think about going outside the book for more information cause it didn't specify. i think people will notice if i bitch slap her right now.
SHIT,SHIT,SHIT,SHIT,SHIT,SHIT,SHIT,SHIT,SHIT,SHIT,SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!
i CAN SMELL DEFEAT. i don't know what to do.
it's finished and turned in and i'll stop worrying about it. i'll just give her mean glances.
SHIT, SHIT, SHIT,SHIT,SHIT,SHIT,SIT,SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SHIT!
smart girl just brought up something about her midterm that i hadn't thought about before. i assumed wrong and didn't even think about outside sources. i just used the fucking book. fucking smart girl! what did i ever do to her!? i'm so freaking screwed. i didn't even think about going outside the book for more information cause it didn't specify. i think people will notice if i bitch slap her right now.
SHIT,SHIT,SHIT,SHIT,SHIT,SHIT,SHIT,SHIT,SHIT,SHIT,SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!
i CAN SMELL DEFEAT. i don't know what to do.
it's finished and turned in and i'll stop worrying about it. i'll just give her mean glances.
Saturday
What can I say that I haven't said earlier but had blogger erase. It was beautifully written, only to have it deleted into the state of nihilo (can that word be used with out the "ex"?). It was as if the negation of God became an obsolete question. It was as if I stood in front of the unattainable in corporeal form. The feelings and emotions completed something that was missing, and MY truth was no longer just my truth. The world made sense for a moment and faded back into a mystery. I lost all perspective of the world around me. Nothing existed, nothing remained, all was quiet except for a heart beat. In that heart beat, I existed eternally. Now I know how C.S. Lewis can think that Love, having become a God, becomes a demon. All else losses a little bearance, leaving only that love to worship. But it's not a demon. It brings parity to everything. It's an equalizing effect to emotions, passions and self-awareness. It heightens all into some state of purity where nothing evil can exist. If I am just rambling, I don't care. My fingers want to talk, so I let them. Everything else, you'll have to experience and maybe one day you'll understand why the mind and the heart are constantly confused when it come to each others way of thought.
Monday
well, well, well.
it seems that i fucked up more than i thought. i recieved the tickets for italy today. in the seating section, well, it says check-in required. called to find out what that actually means and they say that it's for a boarding pass. i've always thought that the tickets were the boarding pass. anyway, can't check-in till 24 hours before the trip. i'm worried because the airliners tend to over book their flights and if there's not enough seating, they bump you down. todays people tend to buy their tickets online and don't get too excited to miss the "pick your seating" section like i did. i'm pretty sure that if i would have choosen seating, this wouldn't be an issue. i read some of the packet i recieved and that's were it says that they'll ask people to give up their seats and if there isn't enough people to do this, they just won't board the remainder. i remember a time when a ticket assured you a spot. those days seem to be gone. all i can do is wait till the 28th of December and hope for the best. it may have been my first time buying tickets but i should have paid more attention to what i was doing.
well, it's been an interesting month.
Hey Matt, it seems that i've had the talk not so long ago. everything points i nthe right direction. there's no confusion on our part, just worry about how things will play out. the future seems to be my worst fear. i don't want to mess anything up. wish me luck and pray for me. you know how moron-ish i can be.
anyway, i have a midterm due next monday that i haven't worked on because of gilded age shit. there's also a love and death midterm that i just don't understand. that professor is so fucking confusing on paper. almost as much as his lectures. this doesn't seem to be my semester, academically. oh well, all i can do is hunker down and out flank the adversary.
"cover me, battle buddy! I'm up! (Run, Run, Run) He sees me! (Drop) I'm down!"
it seems that i fucked up more than i thought. i recieved the tickets for italy today. in the seating section, well, it says check-in required. called to find out what that actually means and they say that it's for a boarding pass. i've always thought that the tickets were the boarding pass. anyway, can't check-in till 24 hours before the trip. i'm worried because the airliners tend to over book their flights and if there's not enough seating, they bump you down. todays people tend to buy their tickets online and don't get too excited to miss the "pick your seating" section like i did. i'm pretty sure that if i would have choosen seating, this wouldn't be an issue. i read some of the packet i recieved and that's were it says that they'll ask people to give up their seats and if there isn't enough people to do this, they just won't board the remainder. i remember a time when a ticket assured you a spot. those days seem to be gone. all i can do is wait till the 28th of December and hope for the best. it may have been my first time buying tickets but i should have paid more attention to what i was doing.
well, it's been an interesting month.
Hey Matt, it seems that i've had the talk not so long ago. everything points i nthe right direction. there's no confusion on our part, just worry about how things will play out. the future seems to be my worst fear. i don't want to mess anything up. wish me luck and pray for me. you know how moron-ish i can be.
anyway, i have a midterm due next monday that i haven't worked on because of gilded age shit. there's also a love and death midterm that i just don't understand. that professor is so fucking confusing on paper. almost as much as his lectures. this doesn't seem to be my semester, academically. oh well, all i can do is hunker down and out flank the adversary.
"cover me, battle buddy! I'm up! (Run, Run, Run) He sees me! (Drop) I'm down!"
Saturday
tonight was an interesting night. i walked to the little corner store and besides buying a new beenie (i had lost the one i bought in London), i also saw the brightest star i had ever seen. it was west of the moon (isn't that a diana krall song?). anyway, it was interesting enough to call matt and have him take a look but he was driving at the time so couldn't see it. i hope he got a chance to see it before it went under the horizon. well, maybe it's not gone yet because of the buildings around me. it may be covered by those buildings. anyway, it was interesting to a semi-amateur astronomer.
Thursday
I MADE A POINT IN LOVE AND DEATH!!! I'LL BE DAMNED IF I HAVEN'T BEEN PARTICIPATING IN THE LAST COUPLE OF MINUTES....
Wednesday
little by little this trip is falling into place. i just chatted with an hp technician who told me that that big thing on my power cord is an adaptor that can support european voltage and frequency. all i need is an italian plug, of which i should have at home since i bought a set before our london trip in january. can you beleive it, i will have spent the last two new years in flight or other countries. i'm amazed. i'm bewildered. i'm a travelling man. i'm awesome.
now, it's over and i have to worry about classes again. it was cool while it lasted.
now, it's over and i have to worry about classes again. it was cool while it lasted.
i really don't think that people actually want to know about my trip to italy, but, I BOOKED FLIGHTS!!!!!! The details are about the same as any other thing. Orbitz released my money and i went through AA (not the alcoholics social function). anyway, it was quit a bit of chump change that came out of my account. hope i did everything right. made a mistake though. didn't choose my seating arrangments. i hope that doesn't fuck everything up. i wonder if i can call and get seating.
Monday
this guys mack is lame. i can't beleive this chick is still listening. then again, i couldn't do much better. anyway, most of the story was about his friend travelling. my god! i hope i never sound like this guy.
i'm in public opinion class. i keep falling asleep. todays topics have been boring as hell. shit that happened long before i was ever a twinkle in my parents eye. he said something about a midterm being due in about two weeks. WHAT MIDTERM??? I have to pay more attention. anyway, i'll talk to him later. i still have to start the paper for this class but gilded age seems to take all my time. that, and doing nothing at home.
i'm in public opinion class. i keep falling asleep. todays topics have been boring as hell. shit that happened long before i was ever a twinkle in my parents eye. he said something about a midterm being due in about two weeks. WHAT MIDTERM??? I have to pay more attention. anyway, i'll talk to him later. i still have to start the paper for this class but gilded age seems to take all my time. that, and doing nothing at home.
Sunday
I've lost the battle, but the war is still pending. i couldn't say what i really wanted or thought. there was no way to get my point across without all walls and alarms going up.
i don't feel my ideas are wrong, but i'm worried that they might be. i feel the need to share, but no one will listen and how can i force people to listen when i'm unsure myself.
i know i'm right, but what does that mean when the world around me has brainwashed everyone to think that what ever is outside the norm is wrong. to them, i'll burn and they'll have eternal life.
even christ was a rebel. i beleive in his teachings of peace and love, but i don't beleive in singling him out for just one group of people. God exists, no matter if you beleive in him or not. Christ died for our sins, no matter if we beleive it or not. But he also died because of his teachings. I'd rather beleive in what he was (teach, preacher and ruler), rather than what was done to him because of those lessons. I'm sorry, I can't beleive in the symbol he has been fashioned into, but I'd rather learn fromthe lessons he has taguht. If that's blasphemious, if that's wrong, if that sends me to hell, then fine. If it's wrong because the chruch says so, if it's wrong because those that were taught by the church think its blasphemious, than they are no better than those that cruxified christ; those that spoke against him and for barabas.
talk about going to hell.
i don't feel my ideas are wrong, but i'm worried that they might be. i feel the need to share, but no one will listen and how can i force people to listen when i'm unsure myself.
i know i'm right, but what does that mean when the world around me has brainwashed everyone to think that what ever is outside the norm is wrong. to them, i'll burn and they'll have eternal life.
even christ was a rebel. i beleive in his teachings of peace and love, but i don't beleive in singling him out for just one group of people. God exists, no matter if you beleive in him or not. Christ died for our sins, no matter if we beleive it or not. But he also died because of his teachings. I'd rather beleive in what he was (teach, preacher and ruler), rather than what was done to him because of those lessons. I'm sorry, I can't beleive in the symbol he has been fashioned into, but I'd rather learn fromthe lessons he has taguht. If that's blasphemious, if that's wrong, if that sends me to hell, then fine. If it's wrong because the chruch says so, if it's wrong because those that were taught by the church think its blasphemious, than they are no better than those that cruxified christ; those that spoke against him and for barabas.
talk about going to hell.
Saturday
so i tried buying tickets on orbitz. found out that it's the most difficult thing to do. went through the whole process, went to another website to find hotels and stuff, came back to orbitz to finish with purchase of tickets and when i hit the PURCHASE button, i was timed out, BUT they still took my money. if i'm timed out, shouldn't they NOT take my money? anyway, now I have to wait till Tuesday morning to have the money released to me and i can then try to buy plane tickets again. bastards! they were good tickets to. from Houston to Philidelphia to Rome and back the same way. i couldn't beleive that i was actually purchasing tickets online for rome.
went to the greek festival yesterday. boought a bottle of wine, shared it with a woman and ate good food. she's such an extravert. where i would keep to myself, she talked to strangers. i would have needed DLC there for that. anyway, met a travelling woman who told us that rome was more a two day event. BUT, if we really wanted to expereince italy, we needed to travel to florence. she made it sound interesting. hell, i was enthralled. anyway, seems that we will stay two days in rome and then head to florence. i already told my travelling companion that i will have to pay a visit to Anzio. sorry, it's a history thing. need sand, but that's a story for customs.
someone talk to orbitz for me and tell them that i want tickets NOW. have a good weekend. waiting for a good movie to preocupy my time so i don't think about the money that's in my account, but not of my acount.
went to the greek festival yesterday. boought a bottle of wine, shared it with a woman and ate good food. she's such an extravert. where i would keep to myself, she talked to strangers. i would have needed DLC there for that. anyway, met a travelling woman who told us that rome was more a two day event. BUT, if we really wanted to expereince italy, we needed to travel to florence. she made it sound interesting. hell, i was enthralled. anyway, seems that we will stay two days in rome and then head to florence. i already told my travelling companion that i will have to pay a visit to Anzio. sorry, it's a history thing. need sand, but that's a story for customs.
someone talk to orbitz for me and tell them that i want tickets NOW. have a good weekend. waiting for a good movie to preocupy my time so i don't think about the money that's in my account, but not of my acount.
Thursday
The Four Loves (continued)
By: C.S. Lewis
"A Friend will, to be sure, prove himself to be also an ally when alliances becomes necessary; will lend or give when we are in need, nurse us in sickness, stand up for us among our enemies, do what he can for our widows and orphans...The stereotyped "Don't mention it" here expresses what we really feel. The mark of perfect Friendship is not that help will be given when the pinch comes (of course it will) but that, having been given, it makes no difference at all. It was a distraction, an anomaly. It was a horrible waste of the time, always too short, that we had together."
"No one cares two pence about anyone's family, profession, class, income, race, or previous history. Of course you will get to know about most of these in the end. But casually. They will come out bit by bit, to furnish an illustration or an analogy, to serve as pegs for an anecdote; never for their own sake. That is the kingliness of Friendship. We meet like sovereign princes of independent states, abroad, on nuetral ground, freed from our contexts."
"In a perfect Friendship this Appreciative love is, I think, often so great and so firmly based that each member of the circle feels, in his secret heart, humbled before all the rest. Sometimes he wonders what he is doing there among his betters. He is lucky beyond desert to be in such company. Especially when the whole group is together, each bringing out all that is best, wisest, or funniest in all the others."
By: C.S. Lewis
"A Friend will, to be sure, prove himself to be also an ally when alliances becomes necessary; will lend or give when we are in need, nurse us in sickness, stand up for us among our enemies, do what he can for our widows and orphans...The stereotyped "Don't mention it" here expresses what we really feel. The mark of perfect Friendship is not that help will be given when the pinch comes (of course it will) but that, having been given, it makes no difference at all. It was a distraction, an anomaly. It was a horrible waste of the time, always too short, that we had together."
"No one cares two pence about anyone's family, profession, class, income, race, or previous history. Of course you will get to know about most of these in the end. But casually. They will come out bit by bit, to furnish an illustration or an analogy, to serve as pegs for an anecdote; never for their own sake. That is the kingliness of Friendship. We meet like sovereign princes of independent states, abroad, on nuetral ground, freed from our contexts."
"In a perfect Friendship this Appreciative love is, I think, often so great and so firmly based that each member of the circle feels, in his secret heart, humbled before all the rest. Sometimes he wonders what he is doing there among his betters. He is lucky beyond desert to be in such company. Especially when the whole group is together, each bringing out all that is best, wisest, or funniest in all the others."
The Four Loves
by: C.S. Lewis
"The rest of us know that though we can have erotic love and friendship for the same person yet in some ways nothing is less like a Friendship than a love-affair. Lovers are always talking to one another about their love; Friends hardly ever about their Friendship. Lovers are normally face to face, absorbed in each other; Friends, side by side, absorbed in some common interest. Above all, Eros (while it lasts) is mecessarily between two only. But two, far from being the necessary number for Friendship, is not even the best. And the reason for this is important."
"Lovers seek for privacy. Friends find this solitude about them, this barrier between them and the herd, whether they want it or not. Theu would be glad to reduce it. The first two would be glad to find a third."
"Notice that Freindship thus repeats on a more individual and less socially necessary level the character of the Companionship which was its matrix. The Companionship was between people who were doing something together -- hunting, studying, painting or what you will. The Friends will still be doing something together, but something more inward, less widely shared and less easily defined; still hunters, but in some work the world does not, or not yet, take acount of; still travelling companions, but on a different kind of journey. Hence we picture lovers face to face but Friends side by side; their eyes look ahead."
by: C.S. Lewis
"The rest of us know that though we can have erotic love and friendship for the same person yet in some ways nothing is less like a Friendship than a love-affair. Lovers are always talking to one another about their love; Friends hardly ever about their Friendship. Lovers are normally face to face, absorbed in each other; Friends, side by side, absorbed in some common interest. Above all, Eros (while it lasts) is mecessarily between two only. But two, far from being the necessary number for Friendship, is not even the best. And the reason for this is important."
"Lovers seek for privacy. Friends find this solitude about them, this barrier between them and the herd, whether they want it or not. Theu would be glad to reduce it. The first two would be glad to find a third."
"Notice that Freindship thus repeats on a more individual and less socially necessary level the character of the Companionship which was its matrix. The Companionship was between people who were doing something together -- hunting, studying, painting or what you will. The Friends will still be doing something together, but something more inward, less widely shared and less easily defined; still hunters, but in some work the world does not, or not yet, take acount of; still travelling companions, but on a different kind of journey. Hence we picture lovers face to face but Friends side by side; their eyes look ahead."
Wednesday
so, after class i went to the cafe to buy a coke or something delicious. they were out of all the delicious stuff, so i had to suffice myself on one of their strawberry/banana juice blend thingies. needless to say, it tasted like kissing a monkey that fell forward into a pile of lion shit that was left standing out for hours while the giraffes pissed in it. And if you know what that all means and can imagine what that would taste like, then you not only have explaining to do, but need psychological attention. something like that would be horrible.
anyway, all that just to say that it tasted gross. $3.99 is too much to pay for something you're not going to like.
that guy that i told you was in my gilded age class and also in my public speaking class, turns out he's smart as fuck. gilded age professor said that fucking guy was smarter than he was. i was shocked and dismayed. i didn't know what to do or make of it. i don't know. i think that guy has way too much hot air in his head. i just want to pop it for him one day. he has this, "oh, i'm better than you" attitude, "but i'll pretend not to" way about him. maybe i'm just angry because this semester is not going well. i wish i was in rome already. i wish i was in london. i wish i was in paris. i wish i was in amsterdam. i wish i was in china. i wish i was in spain. i wish i was in prague. i wish...fuck it! i just need to stop feeling crappy and start doing some work to get my mind off of things.
anyway, all that just to say that it tasted gross. $3.99 is too much to pay for something you're not going to like.
that guy that i told you was in my gilded age class and also in my public speaking class, turns out he's smart as fuck. gilded age professor said that fucking guy was smarter than he was. i was shocked and dismayed. i didn't know what to do or make of it. i don't know. i think that guy has way too much hot air in his head. i just want to pop it for him one day. he has this, "oh, i'm better than you" attitude, "but i'll pretend not to" way about him. maybe i'm just angry because this semester is not going well. i wish i was in rome already. i wish i was in london. i wish i was in paris. i wish i was in amsterdam. i wish i was in china. i wish i was in spain. i wish i was in prague. i wish...fuck it! i just need to stop feeling crappy and start doing some work to get my mind off of things.
the day has come. the supreme court case presentations are about to start. i figured out that i'm dislexic. i confused one of the titles and wrote it backwards. stupid me. i feel just about as ignorant as i can.
Tuesday
just finished watching "the devil's backbone". i had started it, what, last year or a year and a half ago. had never seen the ending till now because, the first time, i had to leave early. it was a good movie. good ending. anyway, thought you'd like to hear about it.
it seems we have a schedule regarding our trip to rome. time date: december 27 - january 5. a week in rome. won't be anything like london or paris because, well, no trinity and no classes. i ordered a rome map and a rick steve book titled, "rome: 2006". this kind of preparation is not my idea. i got it from a friend. but, it seems like a freaky title. almost like there is supposed to be a glatiatorial fighting in the coloseum or some shit like that. 50 degree weather and a warm bed. all you can ask for. when i had planned on going on my own, there were no beds in the picture because i would probably be broke and would have to sleep on the streets and hitchhike to spain. well, that has changed because i'm going, not alone. can't wait for december to roll around. i'm 40% prepared.
it seems we have a schedule regarding our trip to rome. time date: december 27 - january 5. a week in rome. won't be anything like london or paris because, well, no trinity and no classes. i ordered a rome map and a rick steve book titled, "rome: 2006". this kind of preparation is not my idea. i got it from a friend. but, it seems like a freaky title. almost like there is supposed to be a glatiatorial fighting in the coloseum or some shit like that. 50 degree weather and a warm bed. all you can ask for. when i had planned on going on my own, there were no beds in the picture because i would probably be broke and would have to sleep on the streets and hitchhike to spain. well, that has changed because i'm going, not alone. can't wait for december to roll around. i'm 40% prepared.
Monday
still at it with my uncle. we came to the conclusion that there is only one God/god. had to counter his discussion with, if there is one God/god, then sin deals more with the form in which we worship God/god, and not the wrong God/god. it seems i may have the upper hand, but it may only seem that way.
also, he took me saying that his statement was judgemental, for me saying that he was being judgemental.
ROUND TWO.
AND still a slow learner. getting slower by the second.
also, he took me saying that his statement was judgemental, for me saying that he was being judgemental.
ROUND TWO.
AND still a slow learner. getting slower by the second.
i've been getting into political and religious debates with an uncle of mine through email. i don't know. one thing i know, i'll probably be disowned from the family if i continue.
turns out, God/god is case sensetive. don't understand, but hey, i don't know as much as some people do regarding God/god.
also, it seems that people do think of the existence of other Gods/gods, but feel the need to say that theirs is the only true God/god.
Let's throw in some philosophy: I know that I don't know.
At this moment, I'm probably being labelled an aethist or heathen.
Hell, nothing different. I have an aunt who was rumored to have been saying that I was a drug dealer or a burden on society. Either way, doesn't matter. Come to the conclusion that in my families eyes, I'm whatever whoever tells them I am.
I guess that's why they say that you shouldn't talk politics, sex or religion.
Slow learner.
turns out, God/god is case sensetive. don't understand, but hey, i don't know as much as some people do regarding God/god.
also, it seems that people do think of the existence of other Gods/gods, but feel the need to say that theirs is the only true God/god.
Let's throw in some philosophy: I know that I don't know.
At this moment, I'm probably being labelled an aethist or heathen.
Hell, nothing different. I have an aunt who was rumored to have been saying that I was a drug dealer or a burden on society. Either way, doesn't matter. Come to the conclusion that in my families eyes, I'm whatever whoever tells them I am.
I guess that's why they say that you shouldn't talk politics, sex or religion.
Slow learner.
Sunday
went to the movies today with last nights date. it was fun. "the history of violence" is an odd movie. never seen vigo in that artistic position. legitimate films are turning semi-pornish. it was kind of off-putting. anyway, it was intreseting but i wouldn't recommend the film. it was odd. anyway, must do things, just don't know what i have to do. must read, must read and read as well.
Just got home. Had a date. Danced all night. Actually, we danced for about 45 minutes because I took her to Grif's and she brought up dancing that she hadn't done in a while. So, off we went to find this place she remembered about. We got there and danced. Out of all the people, she was the last person I'd thought would have something in common with me. We're actually discussing travelling to Italy during Christmas break. I actually held conversation. We talked about a lot of things. It was cool. Can't say that it's leading anywhere. I guess we'll see. I'm sleepy and I have to read for gilded age and public opinion. Since I have to be up in a while, I guess I'll stay up.
PS: I got to drive her Lexus because she felt too tipsy. I like Lexus'. Is Lexus a Latin word? Is there a plural form to Lexus? Is it Lexi, or something? Anyway, I drove and she talked. I think I over-did-it with the whole complament thing. She is good looking. Can't deny that. We joked about the constant inuendos being thrown out. She got to the point where she had to think about exactly what she was going to say. Anyway, didn't work. We had to laugh at our attempt.
Haven't danced like that in a couple of years, I think. She was a good partner. We were supposed to go to some country club. Not golf, but dancing, but it didn't exist anymore. So we went to a merenge and salsa club. So, we shook our tukus and laughed at the people around us. My ears are still ringing. We slow danced.
PS: I got to drive her Lexus because she felt too tipsy. I like Lexus'. Is Lexus a Latin word? Is there a plural form to Lexus? Is it Lexi, or something? Anyway, I drove and she talked. I think I over-did-it with the whole complament thing. She is good looking. Can't deny that. We joked about the constant inuendos being thrown out. She got to the point where she had to think about exactly what she was going to say. Anyway, didn't work. We had to laugh at our attempt.
Haven't danced like that in a couple of years, I think. She was a good partner. We were supposed to go to some country club. Not golf, but dancing, but it didn't exist anymore. So we went to a merenge and salsa club. So, we shook our tukus and laughed at the people around us. My ears are still ringing. We slow danced.
Saturday
Guilt is such a dirty word.
Why should I do anything besides stay away?!
I've had this dream for a while, where best friends survive all kinds of trials and tribulations. They grow up, as I have learned to act, and blossom into great people.
Then comes graduate school and those friends stick it out. Every once and a while, a phone call during midterms or finals, since we go to different schools because of different asperations. It seems that classes are full of pressure and all those best friends need is a friendly voice to tell them that it's fine; that just a little longer and it will be over. That faith in them is strong. That doubting their knowledge is futile. Then the special day and all laugh at the doubt.
Those friends separate, you know, go in their own direction, but never loss touch. Careers-a-plenty and down the line, marriage.
I still want to be a brides-maid.
Fastforward, into the distant future. The pitter-patter of childrens feet. The best friends have already grown into a family. They have had their arguements and they've made up. They handled depressions, disasters and diapers. They've done everything that siblings do without referring to one mother, but to each their own, respectively.
Then, once a year, since they all live on different plains (don't think I'm stupid, this is a pun)of existence and must travel far and wide, they come together on that special day (or week). Its been choosen the following year and all agree to meet. Days off are asked at work to the point that the bosses already know when that day is coming around a year in advance. There's the jokes.
And the "rub".
The adopted family comes together and the children are at play in the back yard around the barbaque pit and every once-in-a-while, someone yells, "Get away from there, you'll get burned!"
I can't count the children because they fly by as we used to when we were their age. They are blurrs in the wind.
Almost as fast as dust in the wind (pun).
The spouses are inside talking because they are shunned from the conversation because they were after the fact. After the family was born out of fire and ice. But there are a few that survived the trials and tribulations as well next to the friends. And they sit and talk.
They are honorary.
The best friends sit at a picnic table, talking about old days. They laugh, cry, remember, yell, discuss, argue, etc. Its a familial friendship. The sad hour comes where they must separate for another year.
Tears.
But they know that there are still phones and emails to be had. Video emails of baby's first steps and baptisms. They'll see each other grow from far away, but on that special day (or week), they never are much older than the first time the best friends came together in the eyes of those around them. The story doesn't end there. It continues into a different lifetime.
Like Shakespeare wrote, "To die, to sleep; To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub; For in the sleep of death what dreams may come When we have shuffled off this mortal coil, Must give us pause..." (Hamlet: III, I 63-68)
Fitting, for what dreams may come now?
He also said, what applies to this dream, "We few, we happy few, we band of brothers; For he to-day that sheds his blood with me Shall be my brother; be he ne'er so vile, This day shall gentle his condition: And gentlemen in England now a-bed Shall think themsleves accursed they were not here, And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks That fought with us upon Saint Crispin's day." (King Henry V.: IV, III 60-66)
But, what do I know. Hocus Pocus!
Why should I do anything besides stay away?!
I've had this dream for a while, where best friends survive all kinds of trials and tribulations. They grow up, as I have learned to act, and blossom into great people.
Then comes graduate school and those friends stick it out. Every once and a while, a phone call during midterms or finals, since we go to different schools because of different asperations. It seems that classes are full of pressure and all those best friends need is a friendly voice to tell them that it's fine; that just a little longer and it will be over. That faith in them is strong. That doubting their knowledge is futile. Then the special day and all laugh at the doubt.
Those friends separate, you know, go in their own direction, but never loss touch. Careers-a-plenty and down the line, marriage.
I still want to be a brides-maid.
Fastforward, into the distant future. The pitter-patter of childrens feet. The best friends have already grown into a family. They have had their arguements and they've made up. They handled depressions, disasters and diapers. They've done everything that siblings do without referring to one mother, but to each their own, respectively.
Then, once a year, since they all live on different plains (don't think I'm stupid, this is a pun)of existence and must travel far and wide, they come together on that special day (or week). Its been choosen the following year and all agree to meet. Days off are asked at work to the point that the bosses already know when that day is coming around a year in advance. There's the jokes.
And the "rub".
The adopted family comes together and the children are at play in the back yard around the barbaque pit and every once-in-a-while, someone yells, "Get away from there, you'll get burned!"
I can't count the children because they fly by as we used to when we were their age. They are blurrs in the wind.
Almost as fast as dust in the wind (pun).
The spouses are inside talking because they are shunned from the conversation because they were after the fact. After the family was born out of fire and ice. But there are a few that survived the trials and tribulations as well next to the friends. And they sit and talk.
They are honorary.
The best friends sit at a picnic table, talking about old days. They laugh, cry, remember, yell, discuss, argue, etc. Its a familial friendship. The sad hour comes where they must separate for another year.
Tears.
But they know that there are still phones and emails to be had. Video emails of baby's first steps and baptisms. They'll see each other grow from far away, but on that special day (or week), they never are much older than the first time the best friends came together in the eyes of those around them. The story doesn't end there. It continues into a different lifetime.
Like Shakespeare wrote, "To die, to sleep; To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub; For in the sleep of death what dreams may come When we have shuffled off this mortal coil, Must give us pause..." (Hamlet: III, I 63-68)
Fitting, for what dreams may come now?
He also said, what applies to this dream, "We few, we happy few, we band of brothers; For he to-day that sheds his blood with me Shall be my brother; be he ne'er so vile, This day shall gentle his condition: And gentlemen in England now a-bed Shall think themsleves accursed they were not here, And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks That fought with us upon Saint Crispin's day." (King Henry V.: IV, III 60-66)
But, what do I know. Hocus Pocus!


