so i had a meeting with my thesis advisor who, in turn, told me that my thesis sucked but not in so many words. i have to change my entire paper for him. he likes the information but not the way it's in.

needless to say, i needed ice cream after my 30 minute meeting. you don't know how freaking pissed off i was. he said that he didn't get what i was trying to say until the end of the thesis. he wants me to put in some more of the campaign when the paper isn't about the campaign. also, he wants me to talk about the reasons behind the failure. THAT"S NOT WHAT THE PAPER WAS ABOUT!!!! what the fuck man!?

i have to re-arrange the whole thing. he wants a new title too. he said something more spicer. so instead of "road to new mexico: preamble to the new mexico campaign of 1862", i decided to go with "confederate sangreal: rise and fall of the new mexico campaign of 1862". what do you think?

ah! laughter!
ah! smiley's!
ah! smirks!

where have all these things gone? there are no more in my world. they have disappeared into the haze of winter and summer. actually, just winter. cold breeze and warmth. how is it that we've survived so long on such limited stuffs? dreams tell me nothing of the self only that the self isn't good enough.

my life is so freaking mundane! i live no longer for life but my materialistic side. i live to survive, not to live. what kind of life is that when...ah HELL!!!

i am useless and unecessary. i am pointless and empty.

if my life was a song it would be a country song or the line in the song that climaxes the whole sadness.

so, well, it seems that i've turned in my thesis. i went this morning, trying to not speak to my reader. well, when i walked into the history house, he was in his office. i had to face the man with my academic career in his hands. can't say that i'm expecting this to go smoothly. i'm expecting an email from him in a couple of days telling me that i'll have to start all over again. that's grammar school, not the paper. anyway, i just don't feel confident about this thing as i should. i had the best reader i could think about look it over. it's not the format or layout, it's my information. will it sufice. stuff like that.

how has everyone been? i hope you've all been doing great. this new school year for you all must be going well. it just doesn't feel right not being in classes. it's almost as if i've sold out in one way or another. i'm still thinking about a doctorate, but not as much as before. i still need to take my gre, but i haven't started studying. i have to do so much and i've painted myself into a corner. almost like all those years ago. then, i'll be left behind, just like last time. talk about gluttoning for punishment.

i guess i'll leave you all with one thing to think and dwell on: what's a roach in the corner when not in the corner?

Naughty Sunday at the Museum

Act I
The Grand Hall is filled to capacity. THere is no room to walk or stand. Sun shines through the windows and llights above blare down. THe noise from the crowd is deafening. People are talking loud and still cannot be heard. The emplyees are trying their best to keep order to no avail.

Act 1:Scene 1
The building is all hustle and bustle. The people are ranting and raving over the lack of tickets for Special Exhibit.

Employee: No More Special Exhibit Tickets!!
Patrons (all together): WHAT!?!?

Act I:Scene 2
Jesus: How can I help you today?
Mean patron that drove down from Dallas: Special Exhibit tickets please.
Jesus: We have no more Special Exhibit tickets. The only tickets left are for members. If you were to become a member, you'd be able to see Special Exhibit.
Angry Patron: THAT'S DISCRIMINATION!!!
Jesus: How so?
Angry Patron: Because it is! I need to speak to a manager, NOW!
Jesus: Why certainly!

Act 1:Scene 3
Jesus: Mamager, a patron needs to speak to you.
Manager: Why certainly.

Enters manager to the window with angry patron from Dallas.

Angry patron's son: I've been waiting 6 years to see Bodyworlds.
Manager: Only the member tickets remain. That's the reason Jesus mentioned the member tickets.

Jesus (smiling at two friends in line): What are you guys doing here?

Angry patron from Dallas (to manager): I don't appreciate him standing back there laughing at me.

Manager turns to Jesus.

Jesus (turns towards manager after hearing angry patrons comment): I saw two friends in line. I was laughing at them.

Act II
The President of the Museum's wife was standing at the counters assisting the patrons with their problems. She was keeping the lines moving as best she could and relaying information as quickly as she got it.

Act II:Scene 1
Angry patron from Dallas: They have been extremely rude to me at this place. I want free tickets to make up for my hardship of being dumb enough to wait for six months before driving down to H-Town to see Special Exhibit.
President's Wife: why certainly. I'll get one of the full time employees to get you into Special Exhibit for free.

The End