so i'm here at my new position as planetarium operator. i think i'm a little early. that's all right because it can seem that i'm eager to learn. every one at v.s. is all excited about it. that's cool, i guess. either way, it's cool and not as mondane as v.s. it's a switch from all the "how can i help you" stuff. besides, i can be a little anti-social here, too. right now all i'm waiting for is the planetarium operator who'll train me some more. the rest of the week, i think i'll come in during my lunch break and train a little more. i still have to talk to the boss man about november 26th. haven't been able to contact him in a while. i think i'll try now.

so, i was at work. i was doing special exhibit security today and this student was doing something that required coordination that he didn't have. anyway, i mentioned this thinking i'd be able to let him know how to do it correctly, when this teacher "chaperone" person stepped up and said, "good job", to the kid. she freaking coddled the child instead of teaching him correctly. what's the deal with these people? shouldn't they teach instead of coddle? maybe it's because i'm sick but i used to think that teachers taught. they never held my hand when i did something wrong. they either slapped it with a ruler or dragged me to the board to do it correctly.

i applied to a new position in the museum. i'm the new sunday/monday planetarium operator. it'll be interesting, to say the least. it's also a $0.50 raise. anyway, it's all new to me. talk about responsibilities.

i submitted my last thesis draft two weeks ago and i haven't had an email sent to me by my advisor. our last email said that if he didn't find any thing that needed massive corrections, he'd pass it on to the second reader and we'd go from there. that's all i'm waiting for now. i just want this to end already.

i'm trying this thing again. i'm in the computer lab at school, trying to print out color pages at high prices. can you beleive that color copies are 25 cents each?! that's horrible! anyway, i'm done with my thesis yet again. hope this time the old man likes it. anyway, the lab is closing so i have to go now. wish me luck.

what's it like where you are? what do you think and what do you enjoy? i sit here where i've been for years and still, nohting has changed. i sit here and wish to be where you are now. where do i belong? ironically, that's exactly what i just heard through my headphones.

i sit here, surrounded by literary material and wish i was where you are.

poetic?
harsh?

i have no reason left for me. i have nothing pushing me forward because everything's a struggle to stay alive, to stay afloat. people think this, people say that and yet i wish to be where you are.

my only comfort is to be where you are and you wish to be where i'm not. your voice sweet as honey and my voice raspy and obnoxious. even to me, this is visible when i wish to be where you are.

an homage to those that wish to be, any where but where they are because they enjoy to be where you are and not where you are not.

confused?
skeptical?

sure!

let breah flow freely. let tears fall somberly only to wish that they fall where you are and not for what lies in front of me.

hours still till fresh grass and bright skies. the sun above warm and cool where you are and i'm not.

OH MY GOD, I'LL BE IN DEBT FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE!!!!!!

I got the notice. You know, THE NOTICE, already. I was hoping it wouldn't be for several more months or even a year. My loans have been called in. It seems that they expect their first payment this November. Can you beat that! The month of brotherly love and Thanksgiving, and the month before Christmas. Do these people even have souls?

Yes they do:( I'm just upset that I haven't found a career. All I keep finding are jobs. I don't even think I'll be able to...... well, that doesn't matter. All wells. Just ranting about my loans. What did I expect! Anyway, merry christmas.