CAIN Lives!!

Okay.  For those of you that read the last post understand what I mean.  Anyway.  Call it stubborn.  Call it persistence.  It really doesn't matter what you call it.


Back story:
First of all:  I went with Lazarus.  Seemed fitting.  Actually, I'm creating this entry on Lazarus.  Anyway.  So, last night I was on a bit of a high because of Lazarus.  I thought, Dell sent me an email saying that their box was on its way and Computer guy called and said Lazarus would be ready by this morning, which it was, so what would be the harm of dicking around with Cain for a while.


So there I am at one in  the morning, dicking around with Cain when it hit me:  Why don't you plug all the things that were connected to Cain when he crapped out, try to run diagnostics from there.  So, like a child I plugged everything back into Cain, turned it on...Nothing.


I removed the battery and tried that static electricity thing that everybody tries...Nothing.  BUT!  This time Cain did something different.  The hard drive stayed on just a little bit longer that it was doing before.  The diagnostics Initialized.  The memory checked out.  And the Fan...Shut down.


I did that process of disrupting the static electricity several more times before it finally began to run the diagnostics.  Eureka!!!


Cain has been up and running the whole day now.  I ran the thorough test that should have lasted only thirty minutes but took two hours before I cancelled the test.  Ever since then, Cain has been acting good.


Anyway.  Now I have two computers.  I shut down Cain with the intention of powering him back up later.  I want to make sure he's fine, at least for the time being.


Lazarus ran me 81 bucks on my Amex.  That part stung, but alas, the price of victory!


Tune in next time for The Old and the Persistent!

My religious few

Wasn't sure what to title this post.  You see, I've had a total of five laptops in my life.  Atleast since 2001.  Anyway.  I had decided to name them based on biblical references.  For instance, my second laptop was called "God". After that, it was "Adam".  Then it was "Eve". Now, accordingly, it's "Cain".  Well, several days ago Cain didn't want to start up.  Called Dell and they said I had to send it in for repairs.  Now, I'm a man of the future.  All that means is that I pay my bills online.  That's something I can't do without a working laptop.  Anyway.  So, pissed off and fustrated, it finally hit me!

Back story:
Adam was my gem.  He was a laptop to end all desires for another laptop.  I got Adam when I actually made enough money to buy a laptop that was over $1000.  So, when his graphics chip failed, I tried my best to fix it without having to buy a new motherboard.  When I couldn't, I bought Eve.  I swore that I would bring Adam back from the ded one day.  Several months ago, Eve's drive failed, forcing me to buy Cain.  Several days ago, Cain failed, bringing me to today.

So, again, pissed off and fustrated, I'm waiting for a box from Dell to mail Cain to them.  Then it hit me:  Take hard drive out of Adam, put it in Eve!  I did! And bingo! Life where there was none!

Long story short, tomorrow I'll have laptop back (technical difficulties above my pay grade), I'll be online shortly there after and Cain will be able to take his time at the doctors.  Now, the only question is, should I refer to Adams brain in Eves body as Lazarus?

LoL. I guess Lord knows!

Have a fun dau out there in computer space!

Time to Sleep

I wish I could have a pleasant nights sleep.  Why can't I?  Not sure.  I'm not where I wanted to be.  That's a lie.  I'm not where I thought I would ever be.  To tell you the truth.  I never thought I'd have what I have right now.  I always thought...well...as a child would think.  I always thought I'd have some one watching out for me, taking care of me.  Instead, I literally have to fend for myself.  Now I know what your thinking.  "What a loser.  Can't even live a normal grown-up life".

 

"Not true!", I say.

 

With a smile and a sigh I tell you that life, in itself, is really not that hard to live.  It's the decisions and sudden pit-falls that worry me.

 

I have a mother that still wants to take care of me after 37 years.  Ten years of which I rebelled like she was King George and I, George Washington.  Looking back, half the crap I got myself into could have ended me up with a criminal record, in jail or dead.  I see it now in new eyes and all  I can wonder is if they will end up like me.  Will new generations end up like me:  lost, confused, tormented;  Feeling incompetent for one thing or another.

 

I really can't shake this feeling of worthlessness.  I look at where I am right now, and I feel worthless.  I see seven years ago and where I thought I would be now, and I feel shame.  In 2001, I decided that I didn't want a manual labor job.  I wanted to do great things with my life.  I went back to school and worked hard and played equally so.  I received good marks...so I continued.  Went to a four year college and earned a BA.  Stayed for graduate school and earned a Masters.  So, where did I go wrong?  My BA was for my family.  So they could hold their heads up against the torrential storm they were bombarded with from those that assumed I was a loser.  The Masters degree was for me.  It was to imbue me with worth.  But it hasn't.  Have I missed something?  Have I missed some point that an education was supposed to do?

 

I want to sleep but I can't sleep.  I'm tormented by my life right now.  It may not be meaningful for those of you out there, but my life is what I have.  Nothing around me is truly mine until I can answer these simple questions.  I want my back to stop hurting, my head to stop throbbing and my mind to stop racing.  I just want to sleep.