Dumbasses!

So right at this moment I have been here at work for 9 hours.  I am currently sitting in the locker room because we are done with our work and those employees I came in with are just waiting to go home.  The managemwnt, in all their wonderous wisdom, called 2 hours of overtime on us, and they really didn't need us to stay. The next shift has taken over and...well...we have to wait and get paid for doing nothing.  You would think that this is the best place ever but you would miss the point that management is completely clueless.   To tell you the truth, Congress should just cut their losses.  The post office needs to be privatized.   The way the system is now, its more of a welfare program. You show up, you get paid, no matter how much effort you put into it.  And don't worry if you don't do any work.  The guy next to you will be forced to work twice as hard to make ip the difference.

Winter is in the air

I went out for a lotto ticket just a little while ago.  As I was driving back home, I lowered my windows to let in the freshening air.  The chill was invigorating and there was a strong smell of a weekend barbeque wafting through my open windows.  How I miss those days; Relaxing outdoors on the weekends.  Instead I'm stuck at a dead end job with no hope of ever finding something better because as I sit and type these words, I'm growing older and less appealing.  At least less appealing to prospective employers.  All I see is that there are people out there in the real world that can afford a barbeque on the weekend and I have to hope that my measly $1.00 lotto ticket WILL be my ticket.  I can barely afford this house.  I can barely afford my bills, for Christ's sake!

 

And still, the barbeque smelled so good.  So much like winter.  It reminded me of so much of my past.  I reminded me of when I didn't have to worry.  And I guess with everything getting better -- the economy, et cetera -- there will be 100,000 more people with jobs.  And I sit here and bitch about not being able to afford my bills without my mother's help.  How she spots me a few hundred dollars when ever she can to keep my head above water.

 

The Post Office isn't for me.  I'm not 20 any more.  I have an education!!  How can I be stuck doing manual labor!?!?  No matter how many applications, resumes, curriculum vitae's I email, mail or fax; It just seems like no one wants a 37 year old fat guy working for them.

 

I have to keep reminding myself that I have a Master's degree, even though it's not really an accomplishment.  I have to keep telling myself that an education is worth it, even if little by little I'm starting to doubt myself.

 

So, I sit and ponder:  Two books that no one will read.  A Master in Liberal Arts degree that means shit.  Intelligence that is slowly slipping away.  And an irrational jealousy of one of V's coworkers because, as she puts it, "Reminds me of you".

 

Tell me that the turmoil that's inside me is really a Nobel waiting to happen.  Tell me that I'll write a book that will earn me the right to have my name resting on the pages next to other literaries.  Tell me that I will accomplish something besides a worthless existence.  Tell me that the pain and the loneliness and the distress is for a purpose!  Tell me that I'll be okay.

 

For a life that hasn't been my own for so long, God, tell me that ending up here wasn't a punishment.

I fixed my jacuzzi!

Anyway.  So, since I had a day off yesterday, I decided to try something new and so I decided to figure out what was wrong with my Jacuzzi.  It hadn't wanted to work for several months, and since I work for a "business" that has shitty management and no intelligent foundation to speak of, I tried to take my mind off how bad my life has been feeling.


So, turned off the power in my master bathroom and commenced to remove the gdfi thingy to try to trace the issue.  As I removed it, I saw what MIGHT have been the problem this whole time.  The box was singed.  So, went to HD and they said I had to go to a specialty place.  So, Since L was right next door, gave them a visit and found the gdfi, drove home and replaced the box.  Lord and behold!  It freaking worked!  I read the instructions and pushed the test button and things shut off.  And it turned on again afterwards.  Needless to say, I was proud of myself.  In fact, I feel a little better about everything around me today.  Is my mind that susceptible to positive reinforcement?  In order for me to feel happy, do I really need to feel a sense of accomplishment?  If so, then I'm more worthless than the average American out there.  Ask me why later.