Stupid dreams

So I had a dream that I hadn't dreamt in a long time.

I'm driving down a back country road. There are trees around me, not dense but thin and young trees. They grow more abundant farther away from me.  Anyway, I can hear the dull roll of the engine in the car. The sun is to my left. It's not that I can see it, it's that the ahadows from the trees are falling across the road in front of me.  I sense that it's late in the day so, I'm driving North.  I can see a few houses, abandoned,  as I drive down this road. The houses could be abandoned, but it's more like people are just no longer there.  I drive up to a railroad crossing.  There are no signs, just a soft glide over low tracks. Almost as if the tracks hadn't been used in a long time. There's a road along the tracks no different than the one I'm on, but I don't slow down to allow for cross traffic. It's almost as if there is no traffic and I'm not expecting there to be any cross traffic. I just glide over, my left elbow sticking out the driver side window as my arm rests on the door. My car feels light as if I'm not carrying anything but me and my thoughts. I'm alone and I feel that loneliness.

The first time I dreamt it I was just starting college almost 18 years ago. Some dreams stick with you. Some bring realizations and plant subtle pains and fears. Some are prophetic.  This one is sad. It's sad because I feel free and unbound to the world. There are no connections nor feelings nor burden. There's just me, the car, the road, the trees and the Sun. Nothing else. No animals.  No humans. I couldn't tell you if I existed there or not, or if I was just a figment of an imagination. An image trapped in time of someone driving down the same road. A projection of a feeling of a bygone day. Did I exist? Should I have existed? Do I, here?

I Have Changed My Stars

What can I say. I left HTown about 3 months ago and am sitting in H2Town.  I quit my job with the Post Office and currently seeking employment.  I keep feeling this may have been a bad idea, but I must stand firm in my decision.

I've been on several interviews, but no luck. I'll keep trying.  Anyway.