Nina Simone

I'm sitting here in a dark living room, listening to Nina Simone and wondering where my life has gone.  I've shed a couple of tears tonight.  Not many, but enough to remind me that I work for an organization that doesn't care for its employees.  Enough tears to remember that I have an education that doesn't matter.  And enough tears to realize that I'm probably a disappointment to my family.  I have enough alcohol in me to ask these questions without reservation.  To tell you the truth, I think that the only reason I'm as coherent as I am is because I have that much alcohol.

So tell me.  Why is it that I'm sitting in my living room, drunk on wine, watching a fire place and listening to jazz?  I was supposed to be something different.  I was supposed to be something better than what I am.  I ended up the vessel of myself.  And empty vase of humanity that resembles nothing of worth.  I am that which I said so many years ago I would never become, yet here I am wondering if Kroger's is still open to buy another bottle of Sterling Pinot Grigio, 2012.

I resemble what I once was, but am no longer what I was to be.