We did it!

I'm pretty sure we've made it past COVID 19.  Now, it looks like it's just Inflation we need to worry about.

It's been a long time since I've left a message in this thing. Wonder how many people still do.  Is there a point in someones life that they just decide not to hold on to the past?  Is that what I'm doing?

Well, nothing new.

It's a sad thing.

Family

What the hell is it with family!?!

Don't get me wrong. Some give and take like a good family. But V has this younger sister that's a fracking douche!

First, she doesn't like her baby daddy so she left him and got her own apartment. Now, even though she has here own apartment, she's staying here because she's too mental to live on her own!

Now, we all have to pay for this douche to live under this roof because she doesn't do anything. She obligates others to watch her kid, she doesn't offer to pay a bill. Bitch, atleast take the trash out!

There's family and then there's spoiled overbearing worthless individuals.

I'm not allowed to speak ill of her because V gets mad.  I'm sorry, I'm a Cancer and we can't do worthless people and betrayal.  V can't see the way her family uses her.  And I'm growing tired of trying to help her see it. The mother talks in her ear like an evil garden gnome, telling her the family situation and then saying, "Just saying". I got tired of it that I offered to fucking purchase the middle sister a car. Told her that she could pay slow because of her divorce. Trick went months without paying until I started sending bills. Then, I was the bad guy. Atleast it got the mother of V's back for a while. Now, it's this prick! I'm afraid that I'll throw a damn chair at the younger. The middle hasn't finished paying. And she's still on my insurance. She hasn't even offered for help with that. This whole family is bad. Don't know what to do.

Hard to down shift

Yes. Still having to type this on my old Samsung S5.  No biggie anymore.  Right now, I'm just sitting out back of V's house, Guiness in one hand and listening to Iron and Wine, reminiscing of a bygone era of my life.  Yes. The wind is blowing as strong as I'm trying to remember a shadowed past, but like the wind shakes the leaves off these palm trees, it wipes those memories away.  I may have light enveloping me right now but I'm as dark as the darkness that encapsulates my light.  Who will ever know me???

Enough of me's and my's.  On to them's!  A wedding on the horizon and a baby waiting for a glimpse of life.  Two NEWS! My God! A new look on life in both instances and all I can do is pray and hope that the life before them is exciting and serene. A toast to new life!

Were we even children? Were we anything other than what we are?  I see the tree in front of me and wonder, were you anything other than that tree?  What was your essence before you decided to grow leaves and be a perch for birds?  Would I have been different if I had made your acquaintance before?

I feel alone. But even a single soul makes me feel smothered, claustrophobic.  I'm drained of energy and feel a life slipping from my memories.  I'm bound by thoughts, shackled by memories, chained to a past I felt I was strong enough to put aside. Now...I just fear the future.

So, I sit here, out back of V's house with a Guiness in one hand, loving the NEW lives that are about to take their first steps surrounded by friendships and love, listening to Iron and Wine.  The wind still blows, my friend's.  The wind still blows.

Merry F*cking X-Mas

So here I am, another year older and deeper in debt.  LoL.  I think that's from a song but who cares.

It's Christmas Eve at the Andaverde house and we're waiting for the brood of children who will come and infest the house for several hours. During a pandemic, and even after telling V about the possible consequences, looks like feeling normalcy is more important than being safe. So, here I sit, watching Warrior on Cinemax with V, waiting for Santa's little...well whatever.

The UK says there's a new strain of C-19.  The island is on lock down while the US is having difficulties with Democracy.  The GOP wants to take the Presidency back from Biden, and the DNC wants to give to the American people.  Trump has exposed the schism that always existed in the US.  And just like all the times in past history, it's the people vs. the powers that be.  This issue is leading to trouble with fighting the virus.  And NOW there's a new strain?!  WTF!

Atleast there's a vaccine now.  It's making the rounds.  It's going to first responders like law enforcement, medical personnel and politicians.  I don't think that politicians should be getting it before the medical professionals that have been on the frontline.  Especially those politicians that had lied to the American people by siding with Trump and making statements like the virus is a hoax, or it's not as bad as the DNC makes it out to be.  But, needless to say, they were the first to jump in that line.  But what will happen in 5 or even 10 years down the line?  Did Big Pharma take ALL precautions?  They had only 1 year tops to work on a vaccine. Is that long enough?

Anyway. People are here so I have to put on a fake smile and pretend.

F×ck!

S.S.D.D.

Been in H2Town for the last year and have now figured that, according to my student loan payments, it was the worst decision I have made. The only job I was able to find was for a school district that pays $900 a month. So, needless to say, I need another job or ANOTHER job.

Just a note: If you intend to do someone a solid; Don't. Don't taint favors with money. I'm learning the hard way that not everyone can be depended on following what ever agreement is settled on. No matter the amount of the loan or amount of return, people will take advantage and then be upset for you trying to remind them of their agreement. You end up being the bad guy, and making enemies.  So, don't.

I registered to vote this year. I gave people the benefit of the doubt last election. Not this year. I gave Trump a chance. Not this time. But people are afraid that he'll win again. Or if he loses, he'll try to hold on to power. There's something wrong with the GOP that I can't put my finger on. Trump has turned a symbol for other countries into just another country. The U.S. is no longer the country that others aspire to be. The U.S. is simply the greatest of the imperfect all.

Hurricane Laura barely missed Houston and New Orleans. Wreaked havoc on central Louisiana though. Scientists are saying that storms are growing worse every year. Also, the the storm on Jupiter, the dark spot, is slowly going to grow smaller and disappear.

That's it for now. Still writing these on my old Galaxy 5.

Till next time.
Caio

WTF!

What the hell is going on in this country?! Now people are saying how Universities need to be shut down because all they do is teach Liberal ideas and tell students what to think instead of how to think. Since when had education been the enemy? Trump had even signed an Executive Order that puts skilled labor over those with degrees. He basically shut down govt hiring to the educated. Isn't that what the Kmher Rouge did in Cambodia? Didn't they kill the educated and re-educated the rest? Id that what these Conservative Americans want?!

Hell! Yesterday we had Trump at Mt. Rushmore and Indigenous people were protesting. MAGA had the audacity to yell, "Go back to where you came from".  MAGA doesn't even realize that Indigenous people's heritage goes back thousands of years ON NORTH AMERICA, before 1492. MAGA sees brown and te first thing they think is Mexican.

I understand the protests going around since C-19, but there is a limit to what you're protesting.  Burning and looting is wrong. Rioting and protesting is right. Peaceful protests are great, but sometimes you need to riot. These people are not anarchist unless they want to topple goverments for the sack of their own power.  And yet government representatives are calling these people anarchist and socialist.

I am trying to understand.

C-19 is out of control. The numbers were going down, but then people started saying how masks and manditory lovk downs were unconstitutional.  People have been killed because they tried informing people to wear masks only to be met with gunfire.

There are 2 camps now. A Defund the Police and a Defend the Police. But people are still dieing. So does it matter?

Politicians are going to make enough change to quiet the masses, but not enough to stop the killings. Cops will retain their immunity, politicians will retain their immunity, people will grow passive and eventually, itll happen again.

I am trying to understand.

Samsung S5

What I cant believe is that I have to take my old phone out and use it to write blogs.  Why, you ask. Well, I've had this blogger for so long that I can't remember the email I used to create it, the login nor the password. It's so secure, not even I can duplicate the accessibility.

So, this virus, huh? Go figure. Three months into a new job in H2-town and this shit happens. No worries, Trump is giving the American people money. And my current employer is willing to keep us in the books.

This new job is cool. It comes with its own set of issues, but at least it seems I'm essential, to the department.

Mom and sis are hunkering down in S.A.  H-town has been locked in longer. H2-town was bad for a while, but the grocery stores are still lined for supplies.  And it turns out the the U.S.A. is the new epicenter for the C-19.

I had Spring Break off, plus another week.  V has been working from home and going in. Her office is at half capacity.  We're all dealing. We'll figure it out.

Stupid dreams

So I had a dream that I hadn't dreamt in a long time.

I'm driving down a back country road. There are trees around me, not dense but thin and young trees. They grow more abundant farther away from me.  Anyway, I can hear the dull roll of the engine in the car. The sun is to my left. It's not that I can see it, it's that the ahadows from the trees are falling across the road in front of me.  I sense that it's late in the day so, I'm driving North.  I can see a few houses, abandoned,  as I drive down this road. The houses could be abandoned, but it's more like people are just no longer there.  I drive up to a railroad crossing.  There are no signs, just a soft glide over low tracks. Almost as if the tracks hadn't been used in a long time. There's a road along the tracks no different than the one I'm on, but I don't slow down to allow for cross traffic. It's almost as if there is no traffic and I'm not expecting there to be any cross traffic. I just glide over, my left elbow sticking out the driver side window as my arm rests on the door. My car feels light as if I'm not carrying anything but me and my thoughts. I'm alone and I feel that loneliness.

The first time I dreamt it I was just starting college almost 18 years ago. Some dreams stick with you. Some bring realizations and plant subtle pains and fears. Some are prophetic.  This one is sad. It's sad because I feel free and unbound to the world. There are no connections nor feelings nor burden. There's just me, the car, the road, the trees and the Sun. Nothing else. No animals.  No humans. I couldn't tell you if I existed there or not, or if I was just a figment of an imagination. An image trapped in time of someone driving down the same road. A projection of a feeling of a bygone day. Did I exist? Should I have existed? Do I, here?

I Have Changed My Stars

What can I say. I left HTown about 3 months ago and am sitting in H2Town.  I quit my job with the Post Office and currently seeking employment.  I keep feeling this may have been a bad idea, but I must stand firm in my decision.

I've been on several interviews, but no luck. I'll keep trying.  Anyway.

Sooo tired

Just a reminder, I still hate my job.