Hard to down shift

Yes. Still having to type this on my old Samsung S5.  No biggie anymore.  Right now, I'm just sitting out back of V's house, Guiness in one hand and listening to Iron and Wine, reminiscing of a bygone era of my life.  Yes. The wind is blowing as strong as I'm trying to remember a shadowed past, but like the wind shakes the leaves off these palm trees, it wipes those memories away.  I may have light enveloping me right now but I'm as dark as the darkness that encapsulates my light.  Who will ever know me???

Enough of me's and my's.  On to them's!  A wedding on the horizon and a baby waiting for a glimpse of life.  Two NEWS! My God! A new look on life in both instances and all I can do is pray and hope that the life before them is exciting and serene. A toast to new life!

Were we even children? Were we anything other than what we are?  I see the tree in front of me and wonder, were you anything other than that tree?  What was your essence before you decided to grow leaves and be a perch for birds?  Would I have been different if I had made your acquaintance before?

I feel alone. But even a single soul makes me feel smothered, claustrophobic.  I'm drained of energy and feel a life slipping from my memories.  I'm bound by thoughts, shackled by memories, chained to a past I felt I was strong enough to put aside. Now...I just fear the future.

So, I sit here, out back of V's house with a Guiness in one hand, loving the NEW lives that are about to take their first steps surrounded by friendships and love, listening to Iron and Wine.  The wind still blows, my friend's.  The wind still blows.