I'm sitting behind the CIRC. desk and I'm writing in my blogger. That has been the lighlight of my day. How about you? Anyway, I tried reading my philosophy of knowledge chapters but realized that I had fallen asleep at about 3:00am. Mom woke me up about 5:50am or so. I'm sh*t faced tired, but that's not the half of it. I think I'm coming down with something. I'm coughing a lot and my head hurts and my throat hurts. I'm screwed if I come down with something at the beginning of the semester. That leaves me open to other things to get sick from. Time will tell. Another week is almost gone. Two weeks out of about 15, I think. Like I said before, I'm sick and I can't think straight. I had to ask Matt what day it was because I thought it was Thursday. To my surprise, it's only Wednsday. Well, it's time to read some more.

If to see the fair complexion of shadow is to see the sea, what then can not be but be to me?
Fair the well to hell and dust to burn, because grabbing and toiling means nothing to me.
Fear not the sea to not see for the looking to the distance is not blue to me.
It's not green or shadowy but grey and misty.
Flowers no longer in the garden roam and hamlets leave for far off fields.
Dusty trails and dirty shirts sit side by side in the room with no windows.
A tear falls.
A pig flies.
A tree grows upside down in the land of the forgotten few.
Rainy days no longer yearn for the warmth of summer and the cold mornings forget to cuddle me to sleep.
There once was...Well, you know.
No reason for words in such a cruel material world.
Silence is paramount, but yelling is so much more releaving.
Happy Hunting

So how's everyone doing? As for me, well, it's been horrible. I went to my first Russian to Alexander II class and found out that 2 1/2 hours is a long time. The professor is cool and everything. I've actually had him a couple of times before, but it's the time that messes with me. I think he has grown accustom to me falling asleep in class. I know I did tonight. Sad part is it was about half an hour into the class period. How sad is that? Don't answer that! Anyway, week two. Can you beleive it? I can't. I still can't believe that I'm supposed to graduate in May. May 15th. I have absolutely no idea what comes after college. I have no useful skill. Anyway, I'll figure something out. I'll probably end up selling hot dogs out the back of my car. I still haven't caught up in my readings. I have a girl in my histiography class that is also in my Russian class and she said tonight during break that I sounded like I had read chapter two. I told her I hadn't. I guess I just sound like I know what I"m talking about. Extreme anyway, enough about me and my crappy existence. There's a party coming up! I won't say who but it ryhmes with CARRY... I wonder whom can it be? Humm!!! Gotta get back to acting like I'm doing something important.

I had to step away from my printer. It's being difficult. It's sitting in the corner of my room, laughing at me. The punk bastard! It decided yesterday not to pay attention to me and be its own thing. So, I threw it on my bed but even that didn't desuade it from doing what it wasn't supposed to be doing. At this moment it is on a "Time-Out". Anyway, Today was the last day that a Josten's Rep. was going to be on campus to sell rings. I still don't know if I want one. No, wait. I do, but what kind. It'll be fitting to get a silver one because gold and I don't agree. But then again, gold is more traditional and I've worked as hard as my lazy ass would allow me to. No worries, I have a couple of things in my "cart" on Josten's account. Not sure if I'm going to get all of it. Do we need a hood for graduation? Question for the graduation registration personation[Sorry, I was on a "-ation" ending roll].

Saturday was fun. Andy, Em-J and I went ice skating. Not roller skating or skiing. Anything with ice or movement without actually moving your legs, I tend to associate together, hence the mixing up of words. I fell three times and the PRO's Andy and Em-J never fell. Andy kept insisting that he wasn't that good but those triple axles speak for themselves. Em-J, well, those zip spins speak volumes. It was fun. The fun part was watching them and the little kids. At times, I couldn't distinguish between them all. Towards the end and with help from Em-J, Andy and some kids that gave me pointers, I didn't need the wall. Can't say that it wasn't fun because it was tons of.

Tonight, or can't I say tonight? Anyway, Sunday I met up with Nikki and Mark and we went to a hot shots. We played pool and I met her family. Interesting group of human beings. Totally cool and totally friendly. I'll never get used to children calling their parents by their first name though. That seems so odd to me. Not only that, but I tend to call anyone I've just met "Sir" or "Ma'am". They also have great dogs. I like pets as pets, not as family. Sorry, bad experience with pets when I was younger. Haven't gotten over a loss. Anyway, pool was fun (not as much fun without DLC) the family was great, jokes were funny. remind me to tell you the one about the Alamo. It's time to sleep.

Tuesday I'm boycotting UST. My sign will read, "NO MORE CLASSES." and "Hell no--We won't go!"
Think it will work?

Guess what I did yesterday? I went to the Texas Art Supply and bought me a canvas and acrylics and also some brushes. Note, painting is a lot more difficult than sketching. Even then, I'm too conservative with my paint. It's just that the acrylic paint is expensive. Hell, with just those few things that I bought it all came out to 48 bucks. It's not the price that vexes me, but the painting I did is crappy. Talk about a waste. I took someones canvas, probably some great artists canvas and messed up, when if he/she would have gotten it, they would have painted the next wonder of the world. Another Picasso or Monet. Sorry world! Instead of that, you get my rendition of "crap on canvas". Hey, that's a good title for it. Better luck next time.

Bonjoir, como t'alle vous? Je m'appelle Jesus. Et toi? Como s'appelle vous? Je ne sa pas que je parle aux toi mais je savoir que je ne suis france, je suis american. Mon dieu! Je courez en le matin et ja trop fatigue. Ja buvant un tasse de chocolat chaud. Mmmm. Mercy beaucoup et a la prochaine.

I've been noticing a McDonald's commercial that is telling you you should cheat on your b/g friends. It's a couple eating nuggets in McDonalds and the girl is totally not paying any attention to the guy. She is too busy eating nuggets and checking out this guy who walks in. It is so obvious that she's doing it and her boyfriend is too stupid to notice. He just keeps right on talking. Talk, talk, talk, talk, talk. Poor dumb bastard. That's so disturbing that such a commercial would be allowed out into public.

Anyway, Rachel just told me that I shouldn't listen to my radio at the desk. It's not like I was bothering people or refusing to help them. I didn't even have the headphones completely over my ears. They were kept at a low volume so in case someone came up to the desk, I could answer their questions. If they say that I couldn't hear the phone ring, I'd say the reason for me not hearing the phone ring would be because I'd be outside smoking. I know I shouldn't listen to a radio here, (Hello! It's a library!) but I'm childish and I had to have one of them tell me what I was doing was wrong. I feel bad because she ratted me out to "Mrs. T" and is making her tell her workers not to listen to the radio. Mainly, Matt, Liz and them. I basically cluster f*cked the entire situtation that was working out pretty fine. That's the bad part. Sorry guys, I really didn't mean to mess it up for you. I hope "Mrs. T" isn't a follower and listens to what Rachel and/or Lisa tell her. They can be overwhelming at times. Not saying that they aren't nice, just that they are set in their ways. Nothing wrong with that either, it's just like I said before, "I'm childish."

Anyway, Nicole and Mark came by to check on me. Not really, they came to hang out and invite me to go out with them on Sunday. I hope I remember. I feel wierd because we don't hang out in the same circles and I don't know what they are like in such an environment, but I made a commitment and I have to attend. Not saying that I won't have fun, just that I don't know what kind of people they are outside the school environment. It's going to feel strange not hanging out with DLC. I'm scared. What to do?!?!?!?!?!?! I'm so alone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Calgon, take me away!!!!!!!

Classes start next week. Bummer.

Yo vi un Blogger en espanol y seme metio en la mente que yo tambien puedo escribir en espanol pero al comencio de este Blogger yo se al proposito. Mis palabramos que se oyen bien in platiqa no se miran bien escritos. No qiero tomar clases para escribir bien el espanol porque is mucho dinero y mucho tiempo que creo yo que no tengo. Hasta ese tiempo no me digan nada porque yo me pungo triste. Hasta luego.

Just don't ask me to ryhme in Spanish. Hell! I can barely do it in English!

What can we say to a rumble in the corner of the world?
Nothing but the enchantment of a desolate soul, entering the infinite expanse of nothingness.
Gone for the spirit that is left frozen in the sea.
Rain never falls when the tears fall first.
Tear the wound and open the hole to expose the soul to the whole world.
Hang the stars in the sky to make it painfully obvious that we are not the only beings left to destroy.

What's the joke?
It lies in the crazed look of an innocent childs grin.
Peer in and close the window so the wind can blow.
lurk in the shadows and ring the bell so others will hear your cry.
Other than that, there awaits nothing to guide you through the journey.
Quiet!
Quiet? Where do you think we are, a library?
End of an ending...

There was a mouse in the fields, watching me from the fence line. What should I do? I had no idea what to do as we looked at each other. Did he know? Did he care? Why should anyone?

There was a horse in the field, standing proud as the mouse and I shared a look of concern. He stood, chest forward as if he had something to say to both of us, but he was not going to share the secret. So what was to become of us?

On the porch, in the distant horizon, there sat an old man. He was unaware of either the horse, the mouse or I. We all knew that he didn't care but what did it matter. We lived in our own world.

So, there we all were in the field, the proud stallion, the smart mouse and I. The Sun high above and the rivers below. We never saw the blue sky for what it was because of each of us and we never drank deeply from the rivers. We never ate from the wheat at our disposal and we definately did not make friends. We kept a look out on each other.

What's the point? There is none.
Is it the blue skies or the deep rivers? Is it the stallion or the mouse or I?
Who cares. There is no worries and no wondering in the fields where we stare.

What can I say? I'm sitting at work doing nothing but listening to "The Talking Heads" and writing in my blogger. I'm supposed to be working on my paper, you know, the finishing touches, but I'm not up for it. Em-J just brought me some books to put up but I don't even feel like doing that. I guess I really don't want to be here at all. That's a shock! Like my mother says that my grandfather used to say, "If it were called anything else besides work, we'd love it." I think it loses some in the translation. That's even if I remembered it correctly. Anyway, I guess I'll go try to do something if not work. Oh, my first personal CD player will get to join me in the silent reading room. I think It'll make my shelving experience a little more bareable. Got's to make that money.

Andy called about 30 minutes ago. He wants to do something later, I guess after work. He'll be playing basketball till then. That's if we are all up to it. I'm torn actually. Anyway, enough bi*chin. Time to get to work. Or something that resembles it...

There was a shadow in the presence of night.
There stood beside me a cold bite.
Gone for a while, it later returned with a smile.
Beaten back by the day light and the pile.
Hero's are we all till never mind.
Run till the snail doth bind.
Open the shoot and dive the bomber.
Mmmm, like Jeffrey Daumer.

(Yuk, didn't like the way that ended.)

I'm one step closer to going to Europe this summer. I went to apply for a passport on Wednesday and I was so excited that I had to call someone and tell them. I think I called Mary but no one answered. I had to bask in my own glory for a while. My nuclear family has never been the kind to travel. We've never had a reason for a passport. I was actually giddy after I paid my sh*t load of money for a ten year pass to travel. It felt great. All that I have to wait for now if for June to come around. Matt will be in Ireland and we've set a time to get drunk in Dublin. That's in Ireland, right? Anyway, it doesn't matter at all. I'll be in Europe for a month. Surviving on oatmeal and rucking it all over. I plan to visit Paris, London, and all the rest of those countries. (HAHAHA). Yes, I know that those are cities. But I'll need a rail pass, supposedly I can get those online and maps. Like I've said before, I don't care because I'll be in Europe. Hell, I'm still giddy. I'll probably ruck down to Spain too, to see non-Mexican hispanics. I hear they are different. Imagine that. (HAHAHA). Well, I'm done with my capstone, I think. I went to the MLA program house and asked for an application. If I get in, I won't need to write a paper or project. I'll just have to take 36 hours of classes. I don't know which suck more, more classes or having a paper. input please. What do you think about both Europe and MLA.

Well it seems that no one likes me any more. I have recieved no phone call or anything. Once New Years comes around, everyone leaves. Anyway, I'm almost done with my capstone. Can you beleive all the information I've been gathering about Texas History. so many things happened aside from what is taught in school. I couldn't beleive half the sh*t I came across. For instance, there were't just two adult and children survivors, there were others, including two defender. He and another man supposedly hid, but another account said he cried for mercy. Other survivors were mainly women and children from the countryside that had saught refuge in the Alamo when the Mexican army advanced on Bejar. Another thing that I never knew about was the battle of Anahuac fought in 1832 which was actually the beginning of disontent in Texar, or I should say the last straw. The skirmishes there were incited by William B. Travis against the man who jailed him, Juan Davis Bradburn, an ex-American who became a Mexican citizen and Mexican officer during the fight for independence from Spain AND the fight was incited over slaves. The Mexican Constitution of 1824 had abolished slavery! ANOTHER THING I DIDN"T KNOW!!! Mexican officials had called for colonization of Tejas since 1807 but the war for Mexican independence ruined Texas and Erasmo Seguin thought with colonization by Anglos would help Texas economy. Erasmo Seguin, in helping Austin, fought for the colonists to keep their slaves. Imagine that, people wanting freedom in 1835 wanted to subjegate others. Seguin was actually involved in the first attempt in 1811, but he was on the Spanish side. His son was involved in the Texas Revolution. I have about 36+ pages already and I'm still not finished. Don't worry, I still have to go back and revise the title and the whole document. I started of with Manifest Destiny but turns out that it is too broad of a subject. I'll have to just focus on Texas Revolution. I'll save the Manifest Destiny question for my Thesis if I decide to get my Masters. Good luck.

Welll there's no denying it now! It'll never be the 90's again...How sad. I always wished I could go back in time. Anyway, IT'S 2004! Can you beleive?! I can't. I have five months. It seems so far away. The year came to a good conclusion. Saddam was caught, we've had good movies. Even Terminator came to a closing. I just can't wait for Star Wars. New Years was good. Spent with family. Called friends. Some, that I hadn't talk to in a while. They were too busy partying, but New Years makes you want to talk over loud crowds. We were yelling on both sides of the line, but no one cared. That's cool, but it's not always like that. No matter and no worries.