skipped class today. ask my why? well, i was in corpus christi today, watching attorney's from "v's" law firm in action. they were great! from what i can remember (fell asleep a couple of times) they pretty much had it under control. one of the attorney's even got angry and raised his voice. great strategy because it woke me up. i won't go into details about the case because i'm not sure if i'm supposed the talk about it without written notification or some stuff like that, but i will tell you that it was a 50/50 win for the law firm. they won the case, but only got a little of what they wanted. i guess it's what they call a bitter-sweet victory. in any case, it was interesting to watch "v's" interest spike during closing arguments. she listen so intently, that i was stressed just by watching her facial expressions. just one of those things.

got a free lunch out of the trip. drove down in the xterra so "v" could bring back boxes with very important and restricted information (makes me sound important). "v" a co-worker and i drove up the coast (can it really be called that, i wonder) and back again. i saw the u.s.s. lexington for the first time. never been that close to an aircraft carrier before. especially one that saw action in world war two. not even that, this lexington isn't the original. the original (cv-2) was scuttled by the navy and the workers on the new ship petitioned for this one (cv-16) to take it's name. pretty cool.

all-in-all, it was an interesting day. drove to corpus and drove home again. witnessed law at work and fell asleep, to boot. had free lunch and beautiful company. what more to say than thanks for the memories.

I have to apologize for the misinformation I gave out in the last post.

Development, Relief and Education for Alien Minors Act
correction: Not citizenship, but conditional permanent residency status for 6 years.
correction: They would not be granted this status after college, but upon acceptance to college, completion of high school or the reception of a GED BUT as a stipulation, they must complete two years of college or serve in the military. After the sixth year, they would be able to petition the government to remove the restrictions placed on them. Within those 6 years a student would have had to graduate from college or at least have accrued two years of college. Students would have had to come into the country five years ago and be under the age of 16 in order to qualify.

2005 champions of the DREAM Act (in case you want to research some):
* thing to notice: a democrat and a republican from the same state working together. If it can bring these two together, it's worth fighting for.

Senator Richard Durbin (D-IL)
Senator Chuck Hagel (R-NE)
Senator Richard Lugar (R-IL)

I was doing some online research about this and came across this article that states a girl from New York has been in this country since she was 3 (now she's 21) and since her father nor her mother are citizens (that had originally came into the country on tourist visas) she fears graduating from college because with her "illegal" status, she is limited on what she can do. The only reason she got as far in school as she did was because her father worked hard enough to acquire his own business and paid for private school. She even has to be weary of being deported to a country (Columbia) she doesn't know because her family came here to leave the dangers behind them.

Talk about being American!

Can you get any more American than this: a father comes to the U.S. to better his family's life, gets a minimum wage job, works hard, acquires his own business, sends kids to school. IT'S CALLED CAPITALISM, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!!! The man is allowed to pay taxes on the home he bought for his family, but when he needs We the people the most, the doors are closed (or golden paved streets are taken up and hid away). I know of some "citizens" that would rather sit on their arses and let We the people pay for everything. I know of beggars and thieves. I know of criminals and drug dealers. MOST OF THESE ARE "CITIZENS".

When they are needed, We the people remove the fences and call out to the immigrants, "Come, bring us your backs but bow your heads." "Bring us your women and children, but not your problems." "If you help us, we help you until we are satisfied, but then you must return." "We'll help you as long as you stay where you are."

Am I making too much of this? Have I overly exaggerated things? Anyway, this is something that strikes home for me, not because I'm LABELED, but because my maternal grandfather was LABELED. Without the LABELED, I wouldn't have so much opportunity in my life. Without the LABELED, this country wouldn't have the history that makes it so arrogant. Without the LABELED, this country wouldn't have created itself from wilderness.

If there is anything I know, it's American history. If there is anything I believe in, it's that We the people CAN be selfless, but we are afraid. We fear another 9/11. We fear something greater. Don't let your fears cloud this because it's not about our generation. It's about the generations behind us, following in our footsteps. Remove the labels and remove the crayola distinctions because they don't matter. I won't say "can't we all just get along", but I will say GIVE THE YOUNG A CHANCE!

do you know how out of touch i am concerning current events. anyway, heard about a blind man that saved his elderly neighbor. AWESOME! V told me about it and then while i was working out in jerabeck, i heard about it again. V also told me about the high school students that won't be able to go to school because they are illegals. they've been in school since they were young, but since their status is legally "illegal", they won't be able to use the scholarships that they EARNED. jeez, i think that's so unfair because they've earned the right to attend a four year institution. the regulations gives them enough to survive in the country, but not enough to excel. top of their class and this country has told them that they have to flip burgers until the fix the system. this country is the product of skilled immigrants. and now that the nation has filled its quota, it wants to stop it, when the real problems are those that aren't here for an education.

i disagree with one of the laws that, if passed, would make it a felony or something if you help an immigrant.

now bare with me. there are armed citizens on the border and if you help one of "their kind" it will be considered against the law?!? sounds so much familiar. almost as if i heard it before. something to do with stars on peoples clothing or camps. it had to have started somehow.

over exaggerating things, i guess.

i have to look into the whole law thing. i actually like the DREAM Act that democrats (i think) are trying to pass but it seems that everything is against it. this would make it possible for a student that graduates from a two or four year institution to get citizenship. this individual would have to have attended school during most of their lives in the united states. this would make it a merit award. if you can make it in school, i guess you deserve a reward.

i wonder which way this will go.

i hate it when things go wrong. it just sucks. sometimes, you're just moving along and WHAM! out of no where, the freaking freight train comes out of no where to give you a big sloppy kiss on the forehead. is there ever a way out of its way? do we ever see it coming? i want to say that there is, but we have to have the courage to see it through (not the problem but the aftermath). what ever went wrong, must have been going on for a while and since it had been going on for a while, there was no way to get out of its way. hence, all we can deal with is the aftermath of the thing that went wrong. some people can handle it much better than most. i, for instance, wouldn't be able to handle it. then again, i'm just a sap. but some of you out there are a lot stronger than i am. i wish i was more like you.

lighter note:

person came by the apartment complex to speak with people who know me. some of you on my list have been called, more than likely. some of you might be next to get calls. just be honest and forthcoming with information. when in doubt, i don't know works. i'm starting to think that this venture was not a good idea. i'm filled with doubt now, when i wasn't before.

why must we be?

it sounds so poetic just the way it is. i don't want to fuck with it. sometimes less is more. something i have to get used to.

guess not so light of a note after all.

it seems that i have a polygraph and security clearance thingamobob in two weeks. i've been practicing. anyway, i really don't want to be here right now. actually, i really don't want to be here...well...ever. i think this place is making me not want to do anything with myself. it ate away all my will and left me with this total feeling of procrastination. i barely want to read forster. then again, why read the book if we'll watch the damn thing in class. maybe instead of writing a thesis, i should have just gone the route of taking two extra classes and leaving here in may. well, past is passed. i just have to find a reason to finish that's just not saying i have to do it. control issues much?!? well, that may be so, but i just feel drained of strength.

so, happy thoughts!

well getting the call makes things seem as they are going by fast. that's good. all i have to do is pass my tests and i got the job. that's easy enough. i'm just naturally a nervous person. i guess most of you know that by now. either way, i'm confident.

greatest thing in the world: cookie cakes with sweeter messages than the cookie itself (Ummm!) and putt putt in the dark.

still trying to finish paper that's due tonight. must have fallen asleep for several hours this morning. had trouble waking up but now i'm ... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

i'm waiting for coffee that i haven't drank in about 4 days. i'm thinking maybe i shouldn't have any until after my interview. NO! need coffee now. bye.

So, I'm watching tv here at the library. how, you may ask. well, i've been given the sangreal i've searched for all my life: mini-tv. at this very moment i'm watching sinfield. thanks "v".

finished achebe yesterday. started working on the paper today. i'm so gonna get a bad grade on this thing. i haven't even taken time to research for my thesis. i have to get on the ball. i think when it comes to my thesis, after mla director told me that if i didn't finish my thesis this semester i could enroll in the class for free next semester. so, i have until fall 2006 (i think).

going to an interview tomorrow at 1030am. it's here on campus. it's an administrative assistant position, but the fun part is...well...there's nothing fun about it, but it's a job. hope i get it. then i wouldn't have to worry about the xterra, and life, in general.

so, went to the beach with no other than andy (not an illusion) and his significant other. matt and i went along. we had a grand old time. especially when the sun came out for about 30 seconds. it was a cold day, until the sun came out. we had cool beer, great sandwiches and a show. show...what show, you may ask. well, about 30 or so minutes into our beach party, about 100 yards down the beach, baywatch shows up and rescues swimmers in the water(i think). i say, i think, because we weren't paying that much attention. we saw no one being dragged out of the water and we heard no crying and yelling, so everything must have turned out fine.

still trying to finish reading arrow of god. i'm at the last of the pages and the book got interesting.

i told "v" about our beach journey and tried feigning sick while at work, but alas her sceem did not flourish fruit. they saw through her guise and she was forced to struggle through her endless day at work.

so, all in all, a very entertaining monday.

matt, thanks for the donuts. sorry about the sand in your...well...clothes.

So, this morning I drove to a place where I may be in the 1% rank of people that know that Achebe is an author, not a type of cannabis {Oops!}. That's excluding the managerial personnel. Anyway, when I calculated the time and hourly wage, I came to the extreme realization that I hope I get it. It will actually help me out a lot.

Found myself contemplating my life again. Haven't done that in a long time and now that I think about it, I think that LL Cool J & Jennifer Lopez's song has nothing to do with this blog. I just like it. But it doesn't fit with what I write. It's actually anti-blog. You people must be confused when you read and hear, that's if you don't mute the internet like we do here at the library.

It's a DLC birthday today. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

So, life...huh...imagine that.

I have a headache that hasn't stopped in a long time. I think that it only goes away when I don't think about it. When don't I think about it, you may ask. DOn't know.

I'm at the library now. About to work till 230pm. Came in about 1100am, which is about 15 minutes ago.

Mmmm...life...wooo doggie.

Too many thoughts in my head right now. I look at my hands and wonder if they have life. Blood flows and veins are filled with it, but life is something different, I believe. They're warm to the touch, nails grow, hair grows (not on my palm becuase I've been struck in the face before so I won't fall for it a fifth time) and the pores open. I do all these things, but what have I done that doesn't do anything other than mimic life. I sit, I drink, I smile, I laugh, I cry (boy, can I), I eat, I sleep, I awake to a new day. I do everything that a human does (or is supposed to do) but...

******BREAKING NEWS**********
Civil war and Irish Studies professor just walked in and started talking to me. I haven't finished researching, but it seems that he is very interested in what I have not yet found.

I got a call from MLA program people wanting to know who my thesis advisor was and realized that I still haven't turned in my thesis proposal to them, as I was supposed to do. So, not only do I have to do the research for thesis advisor, but i have a paper due on post colonial lit, and thesis proposal to write up for mla people.
*****NOW BACK TO YOU JIM*******

Anyway, I think I'm done with letting you know about my irrational and illogical thoughts. Things I have to sort out...

Love 101
He stood, watching me from a distance. I could just make out the outline of his shadow. It was as if he was there and not there. I freaked.

I rose the sword in my right hand and yelled, "TO GOD", and he shook his head, left to right, and whispered, "Too much". So I lowered the sword to my side and dropped it on the ground next to my feet.

Next, I rose the book in my left hand and read a few lines. I looked up at him and with an inquisitive look in my face asked, "But if he did all this, why is there evil"? I looked again at the pages, but this time the words were jumbled and I could not read any of them. He fell to his knees and shook his head again, this time with his arms aimed into the heavens. "Not enough", he whispered, again.

I sat on the ground and searched the immediate area for something to oblige the shadow, but there was nothing within my reach that I deemed important enough to quell his need to reach something within me to satisfy him.

I looked at each thing: The sword, the book, a painting by an unknown artist magnificently crafted with light and dark paints, a wooden puzzle of circles horseshoes and a long stick, three pieces of glass from three different eye glasses, a pencil and a piece of paper.

What did it all mean, I wondered. I had lifted each to him with the same result. But now, he knelt, it seemed almost in agony. As if my answers were killing him slowly from within. I stood and looked at each thing from out side the area, within the shadows but no where near the shadow that stood watch over me and my domain. I heard a whimper from him and as I turned to look, he was prostrate, his right cheek on the ground.

I rushed directly to the mind of the area and I heard another whimper and as I turned to look, this time his left cheek was on the ground. But still, nothing. No clue stood out or called to me. It was as if what was necessary was not there. There was something missing, but I could not make it out.

[The shadow lifted his body from the ground and watched again.]

Still, nothing came to me, but suddenly, the objects began to make sense.

[The shadow lifted one leg up and he was kneeling on one knee.]

I moved the objects around the area, placing the book in the center, moving the sword to the shadow.

[The shadow stood.]

I took the painting and stood it up on itself and I took the puzzle in my right hand. I took the three pieces of glass in my left hand and placed them one on top of the other, and placed them on my forehead and closed my eyes.

"You cannot force knowledge on yourself unless you are prepared for it", he whispered again.

So, I placed the glasses separately on the ground around me, for what he said had made sense. He laughed out loud and said in a boisterous voice, "Finally you can take to the world and learn of love", and the shadow vanished into the light.

so i have been saving images from...well...i'd rather not say. it's freaking boring doing it one page at a time. i wish there was a way to save the images in bulk. anyway, i guess i have to struggle a little in life. last night, it took me about an hour to do the same thing with 174 pages. the printing was quick, but i didn't expect it to be so many pages. it's actually a big bunch. anyway, now it's going to be about 200+ pages. imagine the big reem of paper i'll have to carry around.

so, it's 830 in the morning. do you know where your kids are?

so, spring break is next week. i'll have to get started on post colonial literature paper that's due the week after spring break. i still can't finish Achebe's Arrow of God. don't know why. any thoughts on why i can't? well, i heard my outlook express ding, so i'll check email and then continue with my image saving.

So, it took me a while to figure out html to add that new section on the right side of this blog. anyway, as you can tell, there's a "Stories" link section thingy. still don't know what direction "Lake College" is going in, but there's two chapters already. i started thinking about the King Arthur story i had started a while back and this time around, i won't get rid of it. so, look for new stories to read as i think of them, or as i go thorugh my stash here. anyway, hope everyone's spring break is coming up soon. we'll have to...you know...get together.....and....study. or something.

good luck with mid's, if you have them.