it seems that i have a polygraph and security clearance thingamobob in two weeks. i've been practicing. anyway, i really don't want to be here right now. actually, i really don't want to be here...well...ever. i think this place is making me not want to do anything with myself. it ate away all my will and left me with this total feeling of procrastination. i barely want to read forster. then again, why read the book if we'll watch the damn thing in class. maybe instead of writing a thesis, i should have just gone the route of taking two extra classes and leaving here in may. well, past is passed. i just have to find a reason to finish that's just not saying i have to do it. control issues much?!? well, that may be so, but i just feel drained of strength.

so, happy thoughts!

well getting the call makes things seem as they are going by fast. that's good. all i have to do is pass my tests and i got the job. that's easy enough. i'm just naturally a nervous person. i guess most of you know that by now. either way, i'm confident.