so as my new job intells, i must do a live 7 minute presentation at the beginning of one of the shows. it's been going well, so far. other than that, i've done nothing with my life that would be considered a change.

i was looking at astrological signs yesterday and i came across this cool site. anyway, according to it, i'm from the fourth house. this house is the house of endings, endings of the physical body or philosophical death. i've always said i've lived way too long. several people have said that i have an old soul. what does that matter anyway...

hypothetically speaking, what if it's the truth? what if i'm living my last life? how should i live it? the only thing that comes to mind is that stupid thing that Emilio Estevez says in the movie, Young Guns. He's telling an anecdote to Keifer Sutherland that goes something like, "There are three men in a saloon playing cards when a man runs in saying that the world is about to end. the first one says that he's going to repent. the second says he's buy all the liquor and whores and going out with a bang. the last man remains seated and says, 'i shall finish the game'".

the site also says that cancers are emotional and overbearing. that much is certain. i have several people that can attest to that. anyway, getting back to this "house of endings" thing, what if one of the last things you do when you reach the end is you experience all the freaking emotions that were ever invented? bashfullness, jealousy, depression, extacy, physical and emotional pain, etc. i've felt all the varying degrees of these emotions. some tend to last longer than others. some, i haven't felt in ages. Huh! i haven't used the word "ages" before i felt what it actually means till now. there's a show here in the planetarium that breaksdown the life of the universe into a day. man has been around for only the last several mili-seconds of the day. i feel so minascule and insignificant. i wish i was doing so many other things right now. one is not sitting here in a small room waiting to smile and say, "tickets please!" that's another issue with Cancer's like me. we always feel that we were meant for something greater. i'm part of something potentially great right now. it just that signs keep saying to have patiences. how long must i wait? good thing is that i'm not the only one asking that question. a future Rice student asked that same question. good luck, Rice student, in your endeavors. what ever they may be...