ah, lord have mercy on our souls!

anyway, just one of those afternoons. i wish i wasn't at work. i wish i didn't have outrages debt. i wish for a lot out of life, none of which has come true. i was listening to a priest last night about how people who feel overwhelmed have no faith in god because if they had faith, they would put their worries aside and put them in the hands of god. well, i don't see god paying my bills. all i see is that i'm in debt up to my a** and i'm on the verge of getting a second job. i let things get out of hand. i let things snowball. i'm not placing blame on anyone or any thing. it's all mine. i just wish i could catch my breath.

my thesis is not yet complete. i've been at work every f*cking day of this passed week that i've had no time to work on it. my advisor told me that there were minor changes; things that i could handle. he didn't tell me how many minor changes there were in the blasted thing. it's atleast a couple of days worth of reading and analysing. i'm burning out because...well, that's not important. i just need to win the lottery.

i'm on an emotional rollercoaster. i can't seem to catch my breath. one minute i'm up, sky high and the next, SPLAT!, i'm face down on the pavement.